I read with a heavy heart today that an online mentor and gorgeous lover of the Lord is separating from her husband.
Lysa TerKeurst founded Proverbs 31 ministries over 20 years ago and has ministered to the hearts of Christian women in various ways with her candor and honesty, mine included. My girlfriends and I have walked through a number of her books together and I found myself referencing one just this morning.
My heart breaks for her and her family as they navigate these murky waters of unfamiliar territory. My heart breaks for her husband and for the restoration that seems out of reach. My heart breaks for the loss of another marriage.
But I know that the Lord who has led her this far, the one who has allowed her to minister to women for years, will not fail her now. He is the one who has promised to bind up the brokenhearted, to make beauty instead of ashes. And it isn’t in our happy times that this amazing comfort from the Lord occurs, it’s during our deepest hurts, betrayals, and losses that the Lord chooses to make his presence known and understood on a level that no amount of “good times” can replicate.
I just hate that anyone has to go down this road.
But I know that her ministry will only be deepened and strengthened if she chooses to cling to the promises we’ve been given. To allow shame to have any space in this process would be allowing darkness to prevail.
My friends and I have a tradition. On one of our birthdays (spouses included), the birthday celebrator gets to choose a restaurant and we make a couples date night out of the deal. We are all approaching 40 (with my husband already reaching that milestone) which also translates that we’ve been married for a while too. And as we approach 40, as the children grow up, I’ve noticed something else too. All around us marriages are faltering, stumbling and failing.
Then it dawned on me…we’re spending all of our time celebrating living another year, but we aren’t celebrating our marriages.
None of us are promised tomorrow, and that same concept applies to our marriages. None of us can control the actions of our spouses. But we can become more purposeful. We can celebrate our anniversaries, because man, it’s a feat! We can encourage one other in our marriages. We can let our nearest and dearest into the world of what happens behind our closed doors. Because it’s there where hope prevails. When things are hidden and hushed and brushed under the rug, Satan can stroll in and make a complete disaster of any marriage. When we allow the light to shine on some of our darkest hurts, we can experience some real healing.
My prayer is that Lysa, and anyone else going through the same thing, will take comfort in knowing that our God is a God of healing, restoration, and hope. Of that I am sure.
Godspeed, friends. Godspeed.