So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

I’m not sure what caused the explosion. All I remember is bear-hugging my 7-year-old in the bathroom praying he wouldn’t hurt me. 

Taking a huge deep breath in, I whispered to myself “He would do well if he could.” And with every exhale, I silently prayed, “God, give me strength. Fill me with love.” 

Little by little, I released all of the fear with my breath, creating a sound like that of ocean waves crashing onto the rocky shore. 

It took every ounce of willpower I had to keep my own nervous system from being hijacked by his. 

Every few minutes, I shook my hands vigorously so the rest of my body could remain calm. 

He kept screaming on top of his lungs, “GO AWAY!” to which I would quietly respond, “I love you too much to leave you like this.” 

RELATED: To the Mom of a Difficult Child, What if You’re Raising a Peter?

After an intense struggle, my son eventually made it into the bathtub allowing the water to slowly dissolve his anger. It was as if the water gave him the space he needed to take his own full breath again. 

As he looked up at me with puffy, glassed-over eyes looking like the life had literally been sucked right out of him, all I could think of was how much I wish I could take away his pain. 

Slouching down on the toilet, I allowed my body to relax. I had finally crossed the finish line after what felt like a grueling marathon. 

We both sat in silence as he continuously dunked himself beneath the warm water only coming up for air when needed. 

Having an explosive child is hard. 

It’s not only hard but exhausting, scary, trying, testing, and utterly depleting. However, it has also made me a stronger, more caring, understanding, empathic, prayerful, kinder, and better mother

I had the same meltdowns as a child, but they looked a little different. 

Instead of trying to hurt others, I hurt myself. 

Instead of getting violent, I spiraled into deep sadness. 

RELATED: Dear Son With Invisible Disabilities, You Are Not Broken

Instead of having a mother who prayed to God asking to give her strength promising to never leave my side, in those sad moments, I was left alone wondering if she would ever come to see me again. 

Instead of screaming, “Go away!” I buried my head in my pillow shaking and screaming without anyone nearby. 

The opportunity is mine to make a change. I can be the mom I desperately desired to have as a young child.

One who would do her best to embrace and love her uniquely wired child. 

I can celebrate my child’s differences even in the face of challenging behaviors and meltdowns. I can savor the good times and give tools to overcome the hard times. 

I can learn all there is about my child’s anxiety, obsessive and intrusive thoughts, his developmental advances and delays which come with his gifted brain, and take the time to understand the reason for his behaviors. 

RELATED: My Son Swears Sometimes, But I’m Not Freaking Out

I can choose to continue to fully show up despite how challenging life gets. 

And I can follow God’s leading for the purpose and calling He has graciously given me. 

Having an explosive child is far from easy, but with God’s power and guidance, I can and I WILL rise above, choosing to be better. 

Adriane Thompson

Adriane is a mom to three neurodiverse (read: loud, intense, and creative boys). She uses her own differently wired brain to research and to learn all she can to encourage and empower parents to find their purpose in parenting. Residing in Arizona, she loves to hike, find water holes, and discover all God has created across the state with her family in their camper. You can read more from Adriane at www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com 

Don’t Let Anyone Rush You, Mama

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother with two kids at home relaxing

From the moment our children are born, other people make it challenging to stay in the present moment—they start asking questions that look forward instead of at the now we are in. Can you believe how big she’s getting, where did your newborn go? Oh my goodness, he’ll be walking any day now! Are you thinking about preschool? What will you do when they’re both in school? What will you do when your baby goes to college? While these questions may come with good intentions, they’re not helpful at all. We moms need to be allowed to be fully in...

Keep Reading

Dear Child, God Sees All of You—And So Do I

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mom and young son painting together

Math has always come easily to him. Even from the beginning stages when we counted wooden blocks on the living room floor, the numbers just came to him. “How many blocks are there?” I asked him, pointing to the scattered row of blocks. I expected him to count them. He was only three or four years old. “Six,” he answered promptly. “Yes . . . but how did you know that?” I asked hesitantly. He had not taken the time necessary to have counted them. “Three and three are six,” he replied. And on it went. The math came easily,...

Keep Reading

Kids Crave Your Time, Not Fancy Things

In: Kids, Motherhood
Dad and daughter with basketball smiling

I have four kids, and like most parents, I’m doing my best to give them a happy childhood, but we’re not really an activity family. Don’t get me wrong, we love a good day trip to the local water park or a night out at the movies, but with several different ages and a tight budget, activities or outings are rare for us. Sometimes I end up feeling bad about it, like our kids are missing out, but then I take a deep breath and realize that some of the best moments come from the simplest of things. Lucky for...

Keep Reading

Dear Kindergarten Graduate—Wherever Life Takes You, I’ll Always Be Your Safe Place To Land

In: Kids, Motherhood

I cried on your first day of kindergarten. Did you know that? I held it together through the getting ready and the goodbyes—but once I had waved one last time and was pulling out of the parking lot, the lump in my throat poured out as hot tears down my cheeks.  How could you be starting kindergarten? You, my precious firstborn baby. We had some growing pains as we adjusted to a new routine. The school days were so long. I spent my days missing you and you spent yours missing me. We were apart from each other more than...

Keep Reading

The Secret to Slowing Down Time Is to Notice the Moments You’re Living In

In: Kids, Motherhood

Dear current self, You’ve heard a lot of mothers admonish you to slow down and enjoy every moment with your children. They’ve warned you with phrases like “before you know it,”  “in the blink of an eye,” and other cliché’s that haven’t really hit you, but they will. Soon, they will. I am writing you now because I’ve seen you trying to wrap your mind around the how-to—as if holding time in your hand is a skill anyone has successfully mastered. I’ll save you the suspense. It can’t be done. It is inevitable. Your kids are going to grow up....

Keep Reading

You Don’t Have to Celebrate a Holiday Just Because It’s On the Calendar

In: Kids, Living

I switched on the computer, adjusted my chair, then quickly swiveled back around again toward my husband, “Are you sure? You don’t mind?” “Me?” he made a swift waving motion as if swatting a fly. “Psht. Yeah, I’m fine with it. You?” He lifted his head and locked our eyes a little more securely, “Are you sure?” “Yes,” I said firmly, without hesitation. “OK, good,” my man turned back to his phone, “Love you.” “Good,” I confirmed. A rush of relief swept through me as muscles I didn’t even know were tense suddenly relaxed. A bubbling surge of energy had...

Keep Reading

I’m Raising Wild Boys

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young boy and toddler smiling at each other, color photo

Yesterday my boys (two and eight) were playing outside in our cul-de-sac—running, yelling, tackling each other . . . all the normal stuff. One of the neighbor moms was out as well, looking on as her son joined the fray.  “I need to send him over to your house for a week or two,” she joked, “so he can get more in touch with his boyness.”  “No, you don’t want to do that. My boys are wild things,” I quickly replied. And I wasn’t joking. My sons are rough, tough, primal beings.  Moments before this conversation, my oldest was ramming...

Keep Reading

A Big Move Brings Big Emotions For Little Kids—Here’s How to Help Them Cope

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood

It doesn’t matter how outgoing or funny or charismatic your kids might be, the possibility of uprooting their little lives and relocating to a new city is terrifying for any parent. Add a global pandemic into the mix, and it’s an idea that feels almost insurmountable.  But when my husband got a job offer we couldn’t refuse, we packed up the car and drove our two kids (eight and four) west from Pennsylvania to the great state of Arizona. The decision weighed heavily on me, and I wasn’t prepared for the avalanche of mom guilt that followed. But as I’ve...

Keep Reading

My Kids May Never Be Professional Athletes, But They’ll Be Strong, Confident Adults Because of Youth Sports

In: Kids, Motherhood
Tween boy playing hockey, color photo

I have pivoted 180 degrees over the last few years on one major bone of contention in our household of four, which includes two sporty kids who love ice hockey and baseball: the rationale behind our, in my opinion, excessive expenditure of resources on our sons’ youth sports careers, and whether this makes any sense.  Neither of them is NHL or MLB bound. Or at least the chances, statistically, are extremely minuscule. And yet, we have directed an inordinate amount of our life savings as well as our precious time to not only club sports, but also private lessons, to...

Keep Reading

Food Allergies Won’t Stop Her—How My Daughter Is Teaching Me to Be Brave

In: Kids, Motherhood

Dear daughter, I know sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever do normal things without me hovering over you. Double and triple-checking your snack labels and drilling you about whether your allergy meds are packed and ready. It’s a lot for you to carry, physically and emotionally. But you’re so strong, sweet girl. Flexible, too. You can do this because you were built for it. And someday, someday, you’ll see it: that this story is yours because you carry it with grace. You don’t complain much, and when you do, you follow it up with a wise comment, saying this sort...

Keep Reading