Sometimes, I wonder who I really am.
I mean, I know my name is Hannah (duh), I’m a mama to four kids (yes . . . four), and a wife to one husband. (Clearly, OK . . . )
I know I have a life story that would make some Christians wonder how a God who can save anybody could actually save me. The girl with the crazy, rebellious, broken past.
I know when my husband tells me I’m beautiful, my mind immediately wonders how in the world he could think that.
I know I like cookie dough way too much and watching Hallmark movies while simultaneously imagining my life being that perfect. My house, my car, my marriage. All of it.
I know I really only like to take selfies with Snapchat filters.
I know I have a college degree sitting somewhere inside a drawer not even being used right now.
I know I am REALLY good at not feeling good enough.
I know I have questioned how the God of the universe thought I was needed, too.
But sometimes, I still wonder who I really am.
What is my purpose?
What am I meant to do?
And sometimes, the tears flow when I come face to face with that question. Sometimes, my heart picks up pace a little when I ask that question. Because something happens when I begin to wonder what my purpose is or who I really am.
Something inside me twists and turns and causes feelings of inadequacy to rise up and become my voice of truth when I ask that question.
But if I open God’s word, I can easily find who I am.
I know God says he knit me together in my mother’s womb and that I am wonderfully made. (Psalm 139)
I know His word tells me I am His temple and His spirit dwells within me. (1 Corinthians 3)
I know because I have chosen to receive Him, because I believed in His name, I can call myself a child of God. (John 1)
I know I am Christ’s workmanship, created in Him for good works. (Ephesians 2)
I know I have a God who cares for me. (1 Peter 5)
And I know God has not called me to be a servant to the guilt of my past, sins, or shames because He thought I was worth the death and resurrection of His one and only Son. (John 3)
I know He calls me daughter (Galatians 3), worth more than rubies (Proverbs 31), and forgiven (Psalms 103).
Because, honestly, if I really want to know who I am, that’s who I am.
I am His.
Previously published on the author’s Facebook page