I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. As a child, I would dream of someday having babies and staying home to raise them. Whenever we’d play “house” as kids, I was almost always the mom. In high school, my friends would jokingly call me the mom of the group. I firmly believe motherhood is a calling God has placed on my life.
Since God called me to it, it should be a breeze, right?
A couple of months after my son was born, the rose-colored glasses started to lose their hue and I began to struggle and question my calling and my ability to be a mom.
If I had always wanted this, why was it so hard?
Am I doing something wrong?
I had everything I’d asked for so why was I wrestling feelings of loneliness?
How could I simultaneously want to hold my baby forever but also feel burdened for just 30 minutes to myself?
I was afraid of admitting that motherhood was hard; that confessing my struggles would make me a bad mom.
I was starting to believe the lie that if something was difficult it wasn’t from God.
Now, let’s all take a moment to laugh at my naivety. Hahaha!
The Bible is FULL of stories of God calling people to hard situations. I mean Jonah threw himself into the mouth of a whale for crying out loud just to avoid what God was calling him to do. Jesus (the Son of God!) asked the Father for a way out because what was being asked of him was so hard.
Living for God does not entitle us to an easy life. In fact, quite the opposite. Jesus promised we would have trouble in this life (John 16:33). It’s a guarantee. BUT He also promised to help us overcome our troubles if we trust in Him.
If life was easy, we would be deceived into thinking we don’t need God and just do everything out of our own human strength.
But God allows difficult circumstances to show us our need for Him and to draw us to Himself.
Thank you, Lord!
Motherhood has revealed sin and selfishness I would have never known I had otherwise. Every day I am reminded of my brokenness and how limited I am as a sinful human being. Every day I have a choice: am I going to pretend I have it all together and try to will myself to be a good mom or am I going to confess I can’t do this on my own and let the Lord come in and help me?
It’s hard to confess I can’t do it on my own.
It’s hard to see God revealing aspects of my character that are so incongruent to who He’s calling me to be. It’s hard to acknowledge that I need a savior. But it gives me hope to know that I don’t have to stay stuck in my sin or pull myself up by my bootstraps and just be a “better” mom. I can have hope in knowing that if I surrender to Him, He will prune away the sinful areas I’m so disgusted by and cause His righteousness in me to bloom and yield a plentiful harvest for His glory. He delights in being the Savior and coming to my rescue.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul writes: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Yes, motherhood is hard.
But God wants to use it to reveal more of Himself to us and as a tool for molding us further into the women he’s called us to be.
Instead of being ashamed or discouraged by our shortcomings, let’s confess that it’s hard and we do NOT have it all together, and let’s embrace the abundance of grace He has waiting for us. God can do far more through us when we confess our need for Him and relinquish control.
We don’t have to try to hide or conceal our weakness, but we can be like Paul and boast in our weakness because that’s where God’s power is!
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