Our Biggest Sale of the Year Ends Today!🎄 ➔

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds

The string quartet began playing Pachelbel, as my dad and I took our first steps down the aisle. I began to lose my composure as we proceeded to the altar. Hundreds of guests had their eyes on me as tears streamed down my face. Struggling to look my future in the eyes, I looked to the ground for reprieve.

God, everything around me looks perfect, so why doesn’t this feel right? I’m not sure how I got here. The flame once dancing inside of me, has extinguished. Lord, I need you.

Dad squeezed my hand gently, “Are you OK sweetie?” I took a deep breath and tightened my grip around his arm, giving a quick nod, I whispered, “Yes,” quickly wiping away the evidence of devastation in this moment.

The uncertainty on the face of the man waiting in front of me mirrored mine. Maybe we both wanted to run away, but were too polite to say anything. That cold November day ended with an I do, but not long after, we agreed to go our separate ways.

There was a window of time after I graduated from college, just before the wedding, that I thought I was living my best life. I became a professional dancer and a talent agent at a modeling agency. I lived for fleeting moments of fame. During this period of living on cloud 9, or so I thought, I had broken up with my long-term, college boyfriend-turned NFL quarterback for fear of abandoning my plans of never living in someone else’s shadow and more importantly, never moving away from family. Watching him date one celebrity after the next was torture, and I continued to fill the void with selfish ambitions, shallow aspirations, and unstable desires. The more I felt the rush of performing in front of large crowds, photo shoots, and the next big break, the more the humble person I had been all of my life began to disappear.

So, when my marriage ended and I finally woke up from the dream world I had been living in, it became my mission to change all that I had become. The feelings of failing as a Christian woman and the disappointment of how off track I had fallen were minimal in comparison to the One I felt I had let down the most. I cried out to Him, Lord, take the reins of my life in Your hands. Lead me back to you.

He graciously met me right where I was. Humbling me, He stripped away my old way of thinking, and showed me unconditional love like I had never experienced before. It wasn’t until I was willing to surrender my old life, that I was able to see who He created for me to be all along. He filled the empty spaces and made me whole again. The fire that had smothered in my pain reignited when I was willing to be made new. This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

When we drift away from Him, or are too absorbed in our own lives to acknowledge Him, believing our plans are superior to His, He is steadfast. I imagine as our Father, it hurts Him to see us walking down the path to destruction, but He is patient and knows what is best for teaching us to be more like Him.

It has been over a decade and looking back, I am grateful for the painful lessons in my 20s; without them I wouldn’t have needed rescue. I have been married to a pilot for almost nine years. Through my husband’s many deployments, long trips away from home, and moving from place to place, the loneliness I have experienced has given me a dependence on God. I trust this was His plan for me. I had to be taken from the comforts of the place I grew up, so that I would fully depend on Him. My purpose looks different from what I thought it would long ago. It isn’t flashy or extravagant, but it holds so much more value. Raising our children rooted in Christ is our biggest assignment. His Word is our anchor, and no matter where this life takes us, we are never alone.

Lasting fulfillment and joy in our hearts, comes from the One who created us. He is our missing peace. He is our greatest love story.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

You may also like:

I Don’t Want To Raise Church Kids, I Want To Raise Jesus Kids

God Meets Us In the Mess

Clinging to Faith When You Feel Broken

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Tiffany Campione

My name is Tiffany and I am a proud Mother of two precious girls and a pilots wife. We have lived in 5 states in 8 years and have learned that home isn't a place, it's a state of mind where love surrounds you. For now we are grounded in Kentucky, dancing through life barefoot in the kitchen. My first children's book, Which Way Is It to Heaven? is available on Amazon! Follow Tiffany on Instagram @tiffanymcampione

Praying For Your Kids is Holy Work of Motherhood

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom hugging daughter by bed with open Bible

While excavating Mount Masada in Israel, archeologists discovered something extraordinary . . . a date palm seed. It might not seem like much (especially if you’re like me and totally expected it to be a new dinosaur or something), but this particular seed sat dormant in the dry desert soil for almost 2,000 years. Scientists ended up finding several more seeds like it throughout the Judean desert, and with a little TLC, they were able to sprout not just one but six of them. Six date palm trees, now bearing fruit that hasn’t been seen in two millennia. Incredible, right?...

Keep Reading

Choose to Be a Mother, Not a Martyr

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby, black-and-white photo

There is a trend in motherhood right now . . . maybe it’s happened for a long time, but now since I am a mom, I am experiencing it: this idea that everything we do as moms makes us a martyr. And honestly, I am guilty here more times than I’m not. RELATED: You’re a Mother, Not a Martyr We have these inner, silent dialogues between us and our husbands, parents, in-laws, and friends. Things we say and think, but they never hear. They compound on each other in the hallways of our hearts before bitterness creeps in without us...

Keep Reading

Motherhood Reminds Me How Much I Need Jesus

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby in nursery, color photo

Parenting is not only about the work it takes to raise up a child, but it’s also about continuing the work of being raised in Christ. Stripping back our innermost layers of selfishness and laying our pride exposed. Seeing ourselves as the center of our own personal schedule is no longer an option. Feeling like we have power over anything quickly vanishes into thin air. Parenthood pushes us to surrender and accept God’s sovereign control. Parenting sanctifies us.  Parenting shows us our sinful attitudes. When plans are ruined, when another blowout spoils the perfect outfit you chose, when your toddler...

Keep Reading

When Did I Become Such an Angry Mom?

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman with head in her hands

My oldest children and I had just navigated a tabletop board game. My son lost. My daughter won. I also lost. She’s four. For the record, I was trying my best. We were all putting the game away together when my son grabbed my daughter by the face and yelled, “IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY BECAUSE YOUR BREATH STINKS!” And then, Mount St. Meredith erupted. I (not so gently) removed him from the situation and (not so calmly) insisted that he . . . brush his own teeth. Yep. For the record, I was trying my best. RELATED: Mom Anger: Taming...

Keep Reading

Angel Babies are Heaven’s Gatekeepers

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Mother and baby silhouette

I never seemed to have the right words. I didn’t have the right words at four years old when my parents lost my 11-month-old brother, and I never seemed to have the right words as I watched family members and close friends lose both the new life growing within their wombs and the beautiful, precious life resting in their weary arms. So, I did what I thought would offer the most comfort. I simply tried to show up and be there the best I could. I shopped for their favorite treats. I dropped meals off on front porches and toys...

Keep Reading

Secondary Infertility Took Me By Surprise

In: Baby, Faith, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler by open door

Selfish. Unfair. Guilt stricken. Shameful. Those were just a few of the words that regularly stabbed my lamenting heart as I longed for a second child. Yes, I was grateful for my healthy, beautiful boy who made my dream of motherhood come true, but why did I not feel complete—was he not enough? Was I doing this motherhood thing all wrong and didn’t deserve a second child? Why did I long to give him a sibling so badly knowing millions were aching for their first—how could I be so insensitive? So many questions, so many buts and so many whys....

Keep Reading

So God Made a Farm Mom

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Family walking on farm road at sunset

One day, God looked down at all the fields, barns, pastures, and farmers and knew He needed someone to take care of all the families on the land. He knew it had to be someone confident in herself to see that the farm doesn’t come first, even when it sometimes feels like it does. He knew the farm needed someone who understands her role is important, too—especially during the seasons of motherhood when she’s not out driving a tractor. Someone proud to stand by her farmer’s side.  So God made a farm mom. God knew farm kids would need someone...

Keep Reading

Even If It Doesn’t Feel like It, God Is Holding You

In: Faith
Woman sitting against tree outside

Sweet friend,  When you’re sitting in that doctor’s office, waiting to find out what is wrong, I know you’re scared. I wish I could come and sit down beside you, hold your hand, and reassure you that it’s going to be okay. No matter what news she tells you, it’s going to be okay.  Your world might change in an instant. I know there are so many feelings swirling inside you and that you’re fighting back the tears, but it’s going to be okay.  Even if it doesn’t feel like it, God is holding you. He knows exactly what’s going...

Keep Reading

God Doesn’t Make Mistakes, Even When Motherhood Doesn’t Look Like You Planned

In: Faith, Motherhood
Teen with Down syndrome sits on couch with mother

I see you trying to keep your head above water every day, trying to juggle all of your responsibilities, have time for things you want to do, time for self-care in a world that glamorizes it, to meet the needs of your other kids, your husband, and have a social life on top of therapies, IEP meetings, meltdowns, evaluations, working with your child one-on-one, and just all the additional stresses that come with this life. There are too many to list, but if you know you know.  I see you wondering if you’re doing enough for your child when you...

Keep Reading

Dear Younger Mom Me, Love Them Deeper

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom kissing little boy cheek

If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her football starts next week, not in nine years. If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her a pitching machine lasts one game, not multiple seasons. If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her the dirty and clean laundry will pile up, and the dishes will too. I’d tell her to not let that affect her so much. If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her life is too short to worry about tomorrow. If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her to capture every moment of time...

Keep Reading