Our Biggest Sale of the Year is Here!🎄 ➔

I suffer from terrible anxiety. In fact, I have anxiety so bad that sometimes I think my anxiety has anxiety. I can create scenarios in my head that are not even the slightest bit realistic and make myself believe they will come true. Some nights I lay in bed actively grieving the loss of loved ones who are still there because I am just sure something bad will happen.

I battle with this anxiety every single day of my life, and yet, I still have a tremendous amount of faith. Some days I think if I just had more faith, I could overcome my anxiety, but we all know that is not how it really works.

Through the years, I have had internal struggles over giving my fears to God and trusting in Him, and trying to control every situation in my life. I love to be in control. I’m one of those people who just prefers to overwork myself and do everything because I’m pretty sure I can do it best. I’ve tried for years to find a way to not be like this, and honestly I can say that after all these years, I don’t feel like I’m much closer to an answer than I was when I started this journey. I have tried praying harder, breathing exercises, doctors, essential oils . . . everything I could think of, but I don’t ever feel “better”.

And then, the strangest thing happened. I finally found my answer in the most unlikely of places. I found what I was looking for in a tree stand, talking to God.

Yesterday, I decided for the first time to go out hunting by myself. I have never done anything like this without my husband because it is still fairly new to me and I do not want to do something wrong. On a whim though, I ventured out on my own, bow in hand, and headed for a tree stand in the middle of a wooded area. After a wrong turn I finally found my spot, hooked my gear up to the pulley, and started to make my climb.

Did I mention I’m afraid of heights?

As you can imagine, being tied to a tree 15 feet off the ground is not the most relaxing thing for a gal with anxiety who is also afraid of heights.

After I finally got myself set up and ready, I took a deep breath and took in my surrounds. That is when it hit me: sitting in a tree stand is just like giving your fears to God.

I was literally 15 feet off the ground, trusting this tree stand to hold me up safely, and if I fell, trusting my harness to catch me and keep me safe until I could get my footing.

In life, God is our tree stand and His grace is our harness. We trust Him to hold us up, to support us, and to carry our weight. But when we fall, and sometimes we do, we DEPEND on His grace to catch us, to be our extra support.

In that moment, I felt freedom like I have never felt it before. I knew that I was safe no matter what the outcome of my day.

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Caitlin Rodiek

Caitlin Rodiek is a proud stay at home mother to a 3-year-old and 1-year-old. She’s a lover of God, her family and Nebraska.

Praying For Your Kids is Holy Work of Motherhood

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom hugging daughter by bed with open Bible

While excavating Mount Masada in Israel, archeologists discovered something extraordinary . . . a date palm seed. It might not seem like much (especially if you’re like me and totally expected it to be a new dinosaur or something), but this particular seed sat dormant in the dry desert soil for almost 2,000 years. Scientists ended up finding several more seeds like it throughout the Judean desert, and with a little TLC, they were able to sprout not just one but six of them. Six date palm trees, now bearing fruit that hasn’t been seen in two millennia. Incredible, right?...

Keep Reading

Choose to Be a Mother, Not a Martyr

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby, black-and-white photo

There is a trend in motherhood right now . . . maybe it’s happened for a long time, but now since I am a mom, I am experiencing it: this idea that everything we do as moms makes us a martyr. And honestly, I am guilty here more times than I’m not. RELATED: You’re a Mother, Not a Martyr We have these inner, silent dialogues between us and our husbands, parents, in-laws, and friends. Things we say and think, but they never hear. They compound on each other in the hallways of our hearts before bitterness creeps in without us...

Keep Reading

Motherhood Reminds Me How Much I Need Jesus

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby in nursery, color photo

Parenting is not only about the work it takes to raise up a child, but it’s also about continuing the work of being raised in Christ. Stripping back our innermost layers of selfishness and laying our pride exposed. Seeing ourselves as the center of our own personal schedule is no longer an option. Feeling like we have power over anything quickly vanishes into thin air. Parenthood pushes us to surrender and accept God’s sovereign control. Parenting sanctifies us.  Parenting shows us our sinful attitudes. When plans are ruined, when another blowout spoils the perfect outfit you chose, when your toddler...

Keep Reading

When Did I Become Such an Angry Mom?

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman with head in her hands

My oldest children and I had just navigated a tabletop board game. My son lost. My daughter won. I also lost. She’s four. For the record, I was trying my best. We were all putting the game away together when my son grabbed my daughter by the face and yelled, “IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY BECAUSE YOUR BREATH STINKS!” And then, Mount St. Meredith erupted. I (not so gently) removed him from the situation and (not so calmly) insisted that he . . . brush his own teeth. Yep. For the record, I was trying my best. RELATED: Mom Anger: Taming...

Keep Reading

Angel Babies are Heaven’s Gatekeepers

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Mother and baby silhouette

I never seemed to have the right words. I didn’t have the right words at four years old when my parents lost my 11-month-old brother, and I never seemed to have the right words as I watched family members and close friends lose both the new life growing within their wombs and the beautiful, precious life resting in their weary arms. So, I did what I thought would offer the most comfort. I simply tried to show up and be there the best I could. I shopped for their favorite treats. I dropped meals off on front porches and toys...

Keep Reading

Secondary Infertility Took Me By Surprise

In: Baby, Faith, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler by open door

Selfish. Unfair. Guilt stricken. Shameful. Those were just a few of the words that regularly stabbed my lamenting heart as I longed for a second child. Yes, I was grateful for my healthy, beautiful boy who made my dream of motherhood come true, but why did I not feel complete—was he not enough? Was I doing this motherhood thing all wrong and didn’t deserve a second child? Why did I long to give him a sibling so badly knowing millions were aching for their first—how could I be so insensitive? So many questions, so many buts and so many whys....

Keep Reading

So God Made a Farm Mom

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Family walking on farm road at sunset

One day, God looked down at all the fields, barns, pastures, and farmers and knew He needed someone to take care of all the families on the land. He knew it had to be someone confident in herself to see that the farm doesn’t come first, even when it sometimes feels like it does. He knew the farm needed someone who understands her role is important, too—especially during the seasons of motherhood when she’s not out driving a tractor. Someone proud to stand by her farmer’s side.  So God made a farm mom. God knew farm kids would need someone...

Keep Reading

Even If It Doesn’t Feel like It, God Is Holding You

In: Faith
Woman sitting against tree outside

Sweet friend,  When you’re sitting in that doctor’s office, waiting to find out what is wrong, I know you’re scared. I wish I could come and sit down beside you, hold your hand, and reassure you that it’s going to be okay. No matter what news she tells you, it’s going to be okay.  Your world might change in an instant. I know there are so many feelings swirling inside you and that you’re fighting back the tears, but it’s going to be okay.  Even if it doesn’t feel like it, God is holding you. He knows exactly what’s going...

Keep Reading

God Doesn’t Make Mistakes, Even When Motherhood Doesn’t Look Like You Planned

In: Faith, Motherhood
Teen with Down syndrome sits on couch with mother

I see you trying to keep your head above water every day, trying to juggle all of your responsibilities, have time for things you want to do, time for self-care in a world that glamorizes it, to meet the needs of your other kids, your husband, and have a social life on top of therapies, IEP meetings, meltdowns, evaluations, working with your child one-on-one, and just all the additional stresses that come with this life. There are too many to list, but if you know you know.  I see you wondering if you’re doing enough for your child when you...

Keep Reading

Dear Younger Mom Me, Love Them Deeper

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom kissing little boy cheek

If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her football starts next week, not in nine years. If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her a pitching machine lasts one game, not multiple seasons. If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her the dirty and clean laundry will pile up, and the dishes will too. I’d tell her to not let that affect her so much. If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her life is too short to worry about tomorrow. If I could tell that mom, I’d tell her to capture every moment of time...

Keep Reading