Kids Motherhood

Four Things Every New Mom Doesn’t Want To Hear

Four Things That Every New Mom Doesn’t Want To Hear
Written by Annie Henriksen

Let’s face it, as a new mom there so many changes in your life. The newest one may not be the appearance of your ever so loving body or the new person in your house.   It’s how some sentences just make your skin crawl and your blood pressure rise!  Here are a few things no soul should ever say to a new mom!

You wanted this!

Yes, it was my choice to procreate. Yes, I get that. However, when you have that baby fever you don’t remember the sleepless nights, the clothing covered in baby vomit, or the aching breast. You remember the itty-bitty clothes, that sweet smell of baby’s head, or that first smile. When a new mommy is having a rough day, covered in bodily fluids, and has not slept since her third month of pregnancy, please don’t tell her this was her choice.

You knew there could be days…

Yes, I knew that motherhood, (the first or the second time around), was not going to be butterflies and unicorn farts. I knew it was going to be hard! You are responsible for this new little life! You know there are going to be terrible-two melt downs over putting on shoes, diaper blows at the most non-convenient times (most of the time it’s all over you too), and hormone surges that rival puberty. However, on those rare days, where you can’t just laugh it off, you are allowed to have a melt down. It’s OK to cry as you hold the bathroom door shut, shake your arms to the heavens, or to eat the hot fudge directly out of the jar.

I think she/he is hungry….

Ughhh… there is nothing I hate hearing more! I have dedicated myself to be a nursing mom, which means I have become a 24/7 food service machine. Which I am happy to do! It burns off a ton of calories for me; it’s like having a treadmill strapped to your chest! Sure I can eat that extra cookie, heck I am nursing I am burning those calories! However, there is nothing worse when you hear those dreadful words from your husband at 2:00 am, “I think it’s hungry…”Another time I HATE to hear it is when I am at grocery store and every old lady I pass has to tell me that my baby must be hungry. Yes, I understand that the baby is a little fussy, however it’s just that he/she is hot or upset that it has had to spend the last hour in the car seat. Hunger is not a cure all for every noise it makes.

Is the baby sleeping through the night?

Now my children have NEVER been good sleepers, so this is a far question to be asked of even my two-year-old. However, when you have a baby a few weeks old please don’t ask if the baby is sleeping through the night. They have the stomach the size of a cherry, and need to be fed every two hours; of course they are not sleeping seven hours at a time. “Is the baby sleeping through the night,” is just a polite way of asking if you are getting enough sleep, because you look like hell. Yes, a new mom has bags under their eyes big enough to pass for carry on luggage but please don’t remind her of that.

What you should say to a new mom

After I had my son, there was one mom friend that sat down looked me in the eye and asked me “how are you holding up?” It almost brought me to tears! After weeks of answering questions about birth weight, sleep habits, and how big sister was handling it, it was one the first times someone had asked me about me rather about the baby first!

This small kindness can go a long way! When you don’t know what to say to a mom who is looking rough or having a hard time – just say, “How are you doing?”

About the author

Annie Henriksen

Annie Henriksen lives in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. She married her college sweetheart in an outdoor ceremony in thirty degree weather, just to keep things interesting. After a career in non-profit she was promoted to Stay-At-Home of her three year old daughter and one year old baby boy. She has a fresh perspective on parenting as a first time mom of an active toddler and one year old! She understands that every day as a parents will not be easy, but it’s about the laughter that fills the home that makes it worth it.

She believes family comes first on all fronts, and every day has its own challenges but you have to take them on one at a time.