By Loren Ward 
When I found out I was pregnant in college, I was afraid to share the news with my then-boyfriend (now-husband).
I was afraid because when my biological dad found out my mom was pregnant, he left. His parents wanted me aborted. His family wanted him to walk away.
In the end, my dad chose himself. He didn’t choose me. He didn’t fight for me. He didn’t protect my life.
I was afraid to share the news of my pregnancy because I thought my husband would leave too. He was told by some to have me abort our baby or to place our baby for adoption. He was told he could just walk away and move on with his life.
But instead of leaving, he stayed. He chose me and our baby. He loved me and our baby. He defended me and protected the life of our unborn child. He embraced fatherhood instead of running away from it.
When I found out at 6 years old that my stepdad wasn’t my biological dad, I questioned my worth. Why didn’t my biological dad stay? Was I not worth it? Was I not good enough? Did he not love me?
That sense of abandonment followed me for many, many years, until college. I didn’t think anybody would be willing to stay and choose me.
But my husband did. He stayed. He walked with me through fire, through the mountains and valleys.
Through depression and suicidal ideation. Through our unplanned pregnancy in college and the two painful miscarriages that followed. Through all the health diagnoses, pregnancies, childbirth, and postpartum.
He chose me. He chooses me every day.
God has used my husband to heal the wounds that another man left in my life.
Watching my husband be the best dad to our kids is a daily reminder to me that good fathers exist.
That there are fathers who stay. Fathers who protect their daughters. Fathers who are loving and gentle and kind.
Fathers who are their children’s safe place.
I may not know what it’s like to feel safe as a daughter. But I do know what it’s like to feel safe as a wife.
And because of my husband, my children will know what safety feels like. What real love looks like.
My children will grow up understanding God’s love and role as a Father through my husband. Because they will see mercy, grace, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness in the love he bestows on our family and the people around him.
My children will never know what it’s like to feel abandoned, neglected, violated, betrayed, or abused by the man they look up to as their dad.
They will only know love. Safety. Protection. Trust. Faith.
And I thank my husband for that.
Originally published on the author’s Instagram page
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