Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

The scary thing about friendship is it’s completely disposable. You actively choose to remain friends. It can dissolve at any time. No one can force you into it. In marriage, you are bound to one another before God. As a parent, you have a familial obligation to your child. But friendship? That comes completely free and clear.

You intentionally let them in, let them see your underbelly. Your messy house. Your imperfect marriage. Your rebellious children. Your weirdness, your quirks, your sin. And they can walk away at any moment.

Oh, there are a few exceptions. Maybe you work together. Maybe you are family. Maybe your circles intertwine on many levels. But they could decide at any moment they no longer want to be friends with you. They are under no obligation to stay. And there is nothing you can do about it. Which makes it terrifying.

Friendship is basically just an enormous game of trust. You need to trust that they will see something in you worth keeping. That they will reciprocate. That they will be willing to work through the hard.

You give of yourself. You care deeply. You share your pain, your secrets, your heart. But there’s no guarantee it will work. And man does it hurt when it doesn’t.

Sometimes it’s inevitable. A move. A major life change. Sometimes it’s a natural transition, a friendship for a season. Maybe you were ghosted or excluded. Maybe there wasn’t a specific cause. Maybe there wasn’t an explanation or closure. Maybe you were just too much.

Or maybe there was tension. Unresolved hurt. A conflict that festered. Or a conflict that felt irreparable. Maybe you just didn’t actually like each other. Your trust was broken. Or maybe you broke theirs. You didn’t handle their gift of trust well.

So how do you reach out in friendship while still wanting to protect yourself? How do you start to trust when it seems like the potential for hurt might just be too much? How do you trust when it’s so painfully difficult, when you aren’t sure the reward is worth the risk? Why doesn’t anyone talk about how hard adult friendships are?!

Some people have the gift of offering trust very easily. They may have been hurt in the past but very easily share. But me? I’m not like that. I deeply struggle with letting people in. I’ve been hurt, I’ve been left behind, I’ve been abandoned. I’ve experienced painful rejections and permanent separation.

There have been many moments where I need to cling to the reminder that even if all my friends walk away, all my relationships end and there is no more trust anywhere, I am deeply loved by the One who designed me just as I am.

And by cling I mean fiercely and desperately hang on to that with all my might. Because sometimes it feels like I’m not meant to be in relationships. Sometimes their rejection defines me. Somedays it feels almost impossible not to believe that the dissolution of a great friendship doesn’t define the rest of my relationships.

So maybe you’re like me and are in a season of broken trust. Maybe you’ve built walls to protect yourself. Maybe you really want those deep friendships but aren’t sure how anymore because it always seems to hurt too much.

I’m there with you friend. I see how hard you are working despite how hopeless everything feels. You are worth fighting for. You are worth working through the hard for. You bring things to the table. You matter. You are loved. Please keep repeating that when everything seems hopeless.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Amber Kuipers

Amber is a children's author whose first book When Grey Came to Stay is about her own personal grief story. She lives in a small town with her husband, three kids, two dogs, and two chickens. Amber prefers to do life outside and avoids being neat and tidy.

It’s Lonely Being the B-List Friend

In: Friendship
Woman leaning on window

I’m a B-list friend. I’m not a top tier or A-list friend. I’m not a best friend. I’m no one’s favorite person. Sure, I’m included sometimes, and I know my friends love me. But, the list of things a B-list friend isn’t included in is painfully long: Girl’s night? Only if it’s a group of five or more. Dinners with other couples? Only if it’s a birthday dinner where a room has been rented at a restaurant or function facility and the guest list is long. Weekends away? Only if it’s a really large group. Saturday night gatherings? Only if...

Keep Reading

I Can’t Be Everyone’s Chick-fil-A Sauce

In: Friendship, Journal, Living, Relationships
woman smiling in the sun

A couple of friends and I went and grabbed lunch at Chick-fil-A a couple of weeks ago. It was delightful. We spent roughly $20 apiece, and our kids ran in and out of the play area barefoot and stinky and begged us for ice cream, to which we responded, “Not until you finish your nuggets,” to which they responded with a whine, and then ran off again like a bolt of crazy energy. One friend had to climb into the play tubes a few times to save her 22-month-old, but it was still worth every penny. Every. Single. One. Even...

Keep Reading

Life is Too Short for Fake Cheese and Fake Friends

In: Friendship, Journal, Relationships
fake friends, friendship, true friends, fake friends quotes, motherhood, women, www.herviewfromhome.com

I’ve been an extrovert my entire life. I make small talk with the cashier at the grocery store. I’ll chat with my Uber driver on the way to the airport. I’ll start a conversation with the dad standing off to the side at a soccer game or the mom sitting alone at the PTA meeting. I just find it’s easier to get through this life if you’re pleasant. And because I’m a joiner, I have a diverse circle of mom friends from all walks of life. I think it’s important to open yourself up to different perspectives and life opportunities....

Keep Reading