Having my medically complex child changed me. For those who don’t know, I was an incredibly shy, quiet, and self-conscious person. And I hate that because I had a lot to say. But I was so self-conscious that I preferred being judged for what I didn’t say instead of being judged for who I actually was.
And then I had Payton. I didn’t have the choice to be quiet anymore . . . I was forced to find my voice. I was forced to find my voice in order to be my daughter’s voice because she needed me.
And with that, I became the person I was meant to be. Unapologetically myself.
I needed to have a voice for my child, but the lesson came from watching my child be exactly who she was everywhere we went, without a care in this world about what anyone thought of her—watching that taught me to love being exactly who I am.
I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I’ll be too much for some people, too loud and too passionate, but I don’t care. Those are all the things I have always been but was too afraid to actually be.
Once upon a time, I thought I would be teaching my daughter to take on this world with confidence, turns out she has been the one teaching me.
I have grown into the woman I was meant to be. The woman I don’t think I would have become without my medically complex daughter.