My view from home is changing as my oldest is now married and my youngest is wrapping up his college career. But dear mom of little ones and even those not-so-little ones, I want you to know that I remember.
I remember the side-eyes and the judging glances from older moms as I juggled toddlers doing their toddler thing. All these years later, I still feel the harshness of their stings.
I remember the gloom and doom declarations of “Just wait until they turn three, or ten, or thirteen . . .” Those almost gleefully delivered little quips that made an already difficult day that much harder as I wondered how I could possibly cope with more.
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I remember that lost and sinking feeling of never doing quite enough or even being quite enough. (Why, oh why, do we moms do that to each other?) Because there is never a shortage of opportunities to doubt ourselves, is there?
And I also remember sheepishly confessing to a group of much older moms—grandmoms, actually—that in the rush and hurry of trying to get us all to Bible study on time, I’d fed my kids frozen waffles for dinner. (I did, at least, toast them.) Then I sat there waiting for the chastisement and tsk-tsking that my own brain was so busy with. But what I heard, instead, were reassuring echoes of “Sounds good to me” wrapping all around me—like a hug I hadn’t known I’d needed. At that moment, I told myself . . . One day, I’m going to be like them. I’m going to remember.
Because motherhood is so rich and wonderful and full of joyful moments, but—and let’s be honest, here—it’s also so very hard. Second-guessing ourselves is practically a way of life, and just a drop of encouragement can keep a mom going through the long, long days and even longer nights. So, these days, I’m actively working to keep that long-ago promise I made to myself.
I’m keeping it when I smile and tell that young and mortified mom in the restaurant that she’s doing great as she tries to calm a toddler who’s determined not to be calm.
I’m keeping it when I reassure the mom with bickering little ones that they all do it, she’s not a failure, and one day they really will be grownups who love each other.
And I’m keeping it when I make it a point to say: This will get easier. You’ve got this. And, those teen years are filled with so many moments you will treasure.
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So, wherever you are in this motherhood journey, I hope in your mind’s eyes you see me smiling at you and you hear me saying . . . Frozen waffles are just fine. You’re doing just fine. Hold tight to God and these little ones He’s given you. And give yourself some grace, mama. Give yourself some grace.
And if some lady you’ve never met before smiles at you in the grocery store as you herd your little ones along, just know she’s keeping a promise she made to herself long ago. Because she’s been there. Because she remembers. And though it might seem impossibly far away, one day, dear mom of little ones, these early days of motherhood will be a memory . . . and I hope you will choose to remember too.