Love is something I have always firmly believed in. God knows why though – my parents were divorced, my mom has been married four times, my grandparents have been divorced. I’ve seen people in and out of relationships. My own relationships have fallen through. In exactly one year from today, I was supposed to be getting married – and now look at me. I’m single, terrified of being close to someone, with no desire of ever wanting to fall in love again.
But what I can say I’ve learned about love – is that it is conditional. Being in love in very conditional. Family love is very conditional. Love of anything is conditional – jobs, foods, friends, sports. Anything. It’s all conditional. Even people who are supposed to end up together, who are supposed to be buried right next to each other – their love is even conditional. It’s completely possible to be absolutely in love one day, and wake up the next and have fallen out of love.
It sucks. It feels like the air is getting sucked out of your lungs and your heart feels like some boney skeleton hand with a tight grip is crushing it. Falling out of love sucks.
…but the best thing about all of that?
You get to find a new love. Even if that one won’t last forever. You get to fall in love all over again. You get to be happy, and you have the chance to start over. And falling in love is so exhilarating! The hardest part about it all is simply making sure you don’t let yourself become cynical.
And when I say simply, I understand it’s not “simple.” But, it is a choice. Just like waking up every day is a choice. You wake up and you choose to believe love is possible. Maybe not right this second, but it’s possible. It’s only dangerous when you stop believing.
I don’t believe in fairy tale endings. I don’t believe there’s one person for everyone. But I do believe in love. Even when all the facts tell me not to, everyday, I still choose to believe in love.