I Can’t Keep Up

I can’t keep up.

This list keeps getting longer—there is always something else that needs to get done, and I can’t keep up.

So many new things to do but still the same old laundry, dishes, clean up the toys, empty the dishwasher, then reload the dishwasher, straighten up the house, but I can’t keep up.

Doctor appointments to make, groceries to order, a holiday or party to plan out.

I can’t keep up.

I have to do it today, and all of it again tomorrow. “Leave it,” they say, “your kids are young enjoy this time,” but then I still can’t keep up.

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I’m tired, I’m sleep deprived, I’m exhausted, I’m weak, I don’t have the energy . . . so sleep when the baby sleeps, but then still I can’t keep up.

Take care of yourself, you need to be happy to make your kids happy, but then I definitely can’t keep up.

Get some fresh air, go for a walk, get out of the house, but then I can’t keep up.

If you quit your job, then you are just a stay-at-home mom—what will people think and say about me? And I know it won’t be easier.

I know I’ll think still I can’t keep up.

Play with your boys—they will only be little for so long, you will miss these days, but then I can’t keep up. 

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I look at all the other moms on social media, and friends of mine with babies, and my cousins with more kids than me, and my sister who all make it look easy. They can do it, but I can’t keep up.

Am I always going to feel this way? Will it ever change? Will the list ever be completed and checked off? Will I ever have a neat, organized home with everything put away each night?

Will I ever be able to keep up?