In the heat of an argument one night when false accusations flew, I didn’t know your daddy felt it, too.

When I hid the positive pregnancy test in a pizza box but we found out it was untrue, I didn’t know your daddy felt it, too.

When my body changed and everything hurt and I couldn’t tie my own shoe, I didn’t know your daddy felt it, too.

When I was rolled into the operating room and we thought we were losing you, I didn’t know your daddy felt it, too.

When I lay on the freezing cold table, and there were complications behind the curtain of blue, I didn’t know your daddy felt it, too.

When you started breathing funny and the doctors weren’t sure what to do, I didn’t know your daddy felt it too.

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When the stress of new motherhood weighed heavy on my heart and all my skies felt blue, I didn’t know your daddy felt it too.

When I became a mom of one and then a mom of two, I didn’t know your daddy felt it too.

When the pandemic hit, I was petrified (and pregnant) once morewith you
I didn’t know your daddy felt it, too.

When we went from two to three (my lap was full) and I felt like I had no clue, I didn’t know your daddy felt it, too.

But in the heat of an argument one night, he pierced me with his eyes of blue as he calmly stated four words: “I felt it, too.”

When we found out we were at a 90 percent chance of miscarriage and surgery would ensue—honey, did you know I felt it, too?

When they rushed you and our unborn son away and there was nothing I could do—honey, did you know I felt it, too?

When you were alone in that operating room, I paced and prayed you both would make it through—honey, did you know I felt it, too?

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When I wanted to protect you and our children, so tiny and so new—honey, did you know I felt it, too?

When my life went from being just me to being all about my babies and you—honey, did you know I felt it, too?

When we lost one in between pregnancy number one and pregnancy number two—honey, please believe I felt it, too.

I cannot always articulate my feelings as beautifully as you, but I just wanted you to know . . . I felt it, too.

And now, when they crawl across the floor to me and scream with delight after learning something new—honey, all of their joy, I feel it, too.

When they give us a thousand kisses and say they love us “a million and two!”
Honey, all their loveI feel it, too. 

And all of this has amplified my love for you. 

Kali Dawson

Kali is a school teacher, pilates instructor, mama of two young children and a beautiful 2020 baby. She is married to her real-life superhero.