In the quiet of a summer night, I sip at my freshly brewed summer tea and stare up at the stars from my cozy chair on the deck. The soft buzz of the baby monitor reminds me that all is well inside as my children slumber, and the husband turns in for the night. It’s a delight to enjoy a bit of the evening to myself, but it’s also the way most nights play out. Cell phone service does not reach the outer walls of my home, so phone calls, texts and social media do not follow me. It’s a temptation to go inside, to find a way to reconnect to the world, and it’s times like these where the lonely and longing feelings pour over me. It’s times like this where I miss the friendships of my past. Where I sadly realize I don’t have what I long for. A best girl friend.

My husband is my best friend. He is there for me through thick and thin. He is the person I tell my secrets to, I laugh with, and shed many tears upon his shoulder. But lately, it occurs to me how many thoughts and feelings I don’t share with him. Not because he won’t listen, but because there are questions and conversations I want to share with someone who has a woman’s perspective.

Should I have a hysterectomy just to end my pain?

What if my daughters grow up and suffer from infertility like me?

When should I let them wear makeup?

How do I talk to them about their periods?

What color should I paint my kitchen?

What should I do about my gray hair?

How many purses are too many?

Will there ever be a comfy pair of high heels?

Where can I find the perfect bra?

The list goes on and on. Now I know that any dedicated, intelligent woman can soul search and read and research the answers to all these questions. But how special is it, when we can find that kindred spirit that will love us through our messes, and celebrate with us through our triumphs, who shows up at the door to talk, and picks up the phone without ever screening our calls. That we know she is the one who will always be there. Social media is a great tool as an “add-on” to friendship. But it does not replace the need for the warm, physical touch of a friend who embraces and listens and whose eyes tell us that they are present and in the moment. 

Blessed are those who have the friendships that go on and on for years. Blessed are those whose bonds were forged in school and follow them for a lifetime. Blessed are those who make new friends in fellowship at church or work or at the gym. True friendship does not know time or distance. But developing the bonds of “best friends” is rare and unique.

I need a best friend. And so do you. May we all spend more time being present with those that matter, making memories and doing the things that fill each other’s buckets beyond giving them a “like” or a passing wave on the street. May we all spend time to developing the bonds of a friendship that will last forever.

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