I Want to do More Than Just Survive my Teenager

The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

I saw a post on social media the other day that showed a picture of a coffee mug. The mug read, “Teenage daughter survivor.”

It was a hugely popular post—thousands of likes and hundreds of shares.

And I get it. I really do. Parenting teenagers is not for the faint of heart or mind or will (or wallet). It’s hard. It matters so much. There’s no manual. There’s no guaranteed formula for “success”. And I’m the first to admit I have no idea how gut-wrenching it is for a lot of parents. I know I could still be one of those parents someday.

But here’s the thing: I want to do so much more than just survive my kids’ teenage years. I don’t want to just make it through them. I want to make the most of them, because I know full well that for every comment about the “torturous teen years” (another actual post that was just as popular as that mug picture), there’s an equal number of posts from parents lamenting that they’re having to let their older kids go.

When my next letting-go time comes, I want to know that I did more, most days, than merely endure.

I want to cherish these years when my children are still living under my roof and sleeping in their beds and eating my food . . . but are otherwise managing much of their own lives quite nicely.

I want to store up as many memories as I can cram into the bank.

I want to watch in wonder as things my children once liked to do turn into passions they never want to stop doing.

I want to see stories come full circle.

I want to have deep conversations.

I want to honor big moments.

I want to appreciate small moments on ordinary days.

I want to keep feeding relationships.

I want to let go of things that don’t matter and hold tight to things that do.

I want to celebrate accomplishments that everyone can see and many more that almost no one else sees.

I want to look back with gratitude and forward with hope.

I want to know I did not take the gift of these years for granted.

I’ve already got enough mugs to survive a worldwide china shortage, but if I ever get another one, I’d want it to say, “I ❤️ my teenager.” Because the love I have for my teens is not something I have to get through; it’s something I’m holding onto, always.

This article originally appeared on Guilty Chocoholic Mama

You may also like:

God Gave Me Teenagers

Dear Mom, This is What I Need You To Remember Now That I’m a Teenager

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here!

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

raising teens teenager teens

Elizabeth Spencer

Elizabeth Spencer is mom to two daughters (one teen and one young adult) who regularly dispense love, affection, and brutally honest fashion advice. She writes about faith, food, and family (with some occasional funny thrown in) at Guilty Chocoholic Mama and avoids working on her 100-year-old farmhouse by spending time on Facebook and Twitter.

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading

Foster Care Kids Are Worth Fighting for

In: Kids

Sometimes foster care looks like bringing a child from a hard place into your home. Sometimes it looks like sitting at a ball field with a former foster love’s mom and being her village. He’s the one who has brought me to my knees more times than my own children. He’s the one I lie awake at night thinking about. He’s the one I beg the father to protect. He’s the one who makes me want to get in the trenches over and over again. It’s our Bubba. So much of the story is not mine to tell, but the...

Keep Reading

We Aren’t Holding Her Back—We’re Giving Her More Time

In: Kids

When we decided to give our preschooler another year before kindergarten, I thought the hardest part would be explaining it to other people. I was wrong. The hardest part was the afternoon her teacher asked to talk. In that split second in the pick-up line, my heart sank. I assumed the worst. I braced myself for a conversation about behavior, about something we had somehow missed, about whether her strong personality was causing problems. Instead, it became the moment that confirmed what we already knew. We were not holding her back. We were giving her time. Our daughter is bright....

Keep Reading

A Life Lived Differently Is Not a Life Less Lived

In: Kids

My life changed on that beautiful autumn day. The thing is, nothing really happened. Not really. My life kind of went on as usual. A fly on the wall might even say it was a great day. I brought my 3-year-old son to an animal farm for a Halloween event. He was quirky as usual and a bit ornery that day. Aloof. “Come feed the baby animals,” I pleaded. No, thank you. Crowds of excited children? Absolutely not. Buckets of candy? You can keep them. My heart ached watching my beautiful, blonde-haired boy wander into a field alone, away from...

Keep Reading

Enjoy the Ride, Kid

In: Kids

Two people running up from the water at the beach

Last night I watched an episode of Shrinking. If you haven’t jumped into the series yet, it’s one of those that hits the heart hard- at least for me. The episode centered on the birth of a baby, while one of the characters grappled with the closing years of life. Spoiler alert: as the elder of the group cradled this new life in his arms, bridging generations across the hospital room, the moment of realization of how fast life goes hit like a ton of bricks. “Enjoy the ride, kid.” The final words of this episode are sitting with me,...

Keep Reading

Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

In: Kids, Motherhood

With four kids at three different schools, our days are full. Between sports practices, music lessons, clubs, rehearsals, games, meets, and playdates, it feels like we’re constantly heading somewhere. I love that my children are involved in activities, but occasionally, it’s nice to have some downtime. When I get a text or email that a practice has been canceled, it’s usually a huge relief. Last week, after-school sports were cancelled due to heavy rain. When I picked up my youngest son from school, I told him we’d be going straight home for the rest of the afternoon. He looked surprised....

Keep Reading

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

In: Kids, Motherhood

I have a confession: Yesterday I let my 11-year-old play with fire. Like literally. We live in the country, there is still wet snow on the ground, and he’s done it with his dad at least 20 times. But yesterday was the fifth consecutive day of no school, and probably the twentieth consecutive day of him asking to have a small fire without dad. Part of me did it out of laziness. Part of me did it out of selfishness. And part of me did it out of nostalgia. Here’s the thing—when I was 11, I was already babysitting (like...

Keep Reading

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

In: Kids

Big brother and little sister smiling at each other

He doesn’t remember the day she came home.But she has never known a world without him. From the beginning, he was there first. The first to reach for her hand. The first to explain the rules. The first to decide what was fair and what absolutely was not. He didn’t know he was being assigned a role. He just stepped into it. Big brother. She followed him everywhere. Into rooms she technically wasn’t invited into. Into games she didn’t fully understand. Into stories she insisted on hearing again and again. She wanted to do what he did, say what he...

Keep Reading

7 Is the Bridge Between Little and Big Kid

In: Kids

I was in the middle of the post-holiday clean-up chaos when something hit me. My oldest daughter is seven, and while it feels like an age that doesn’t get talked about much, it really is turning out to be such a sweet spot. It hit me as we were redesigning her room. A change that occurred when she broke my mama-heart a few weeks prior by saying she didn’t think she wanted a princess room anymore. While everything in me wanted to try to convince her to keep it, stay small and sweet just a little longer, I knew I...

Keep Reading

So God Made a Gymnast

In: Kids

God made a gymnast with fearless grace, strength in her heart, and a fire in her spirit. He molded her courage, steady and true, and quietly whispered, “We believe in you.” He taught her balance when life feels chaotic and messy, to leap into her faith and stick each landing just right. When she stumbles, He is always right there to help her rise back up with faith in her soul and a spark in her eyes. Each floor routine with the grace of a swan; each move is a dream, all built on dedication and grit. God made her...

Keep Reading

This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere

Inspiration

This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere

To My Son, When Your Blue Eyes Cry

Child

I Want to do More Than Just Survive my Teenager

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Elizabeth Spencer

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

Foster Care Kids Are Worth Fighting for

We Aren’t Holding Her Back—We’re Giving Her More Time

A Life Lived Differently Is Not a Life Less Lived

Enjoy the Ride, Kid

Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

7 Is the Bridge Between Little and Big Kid

So God Made a Gymnast

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I Want to do More Than Just Survive my Teenager

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

Foster Care Kids Are Worth Fighting for

We Aren’t Holding Her Back—We’re Giving Her More Time

A Life Lived Differently Is Not a Life Less Lived

Enjoy the Ride, Kid

Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

7 Is the Bridge Between Little and Big Kid

So God Made a Gymnast

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like