So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉

Dear little blue-eyed love of my life

Our eyes locked at 5:59 a.m. just over three years ago. Your first high-pitched, confused cry brought tears to your dad’s and my eyes. It was the most beautiful sound we had ever heard. That was the last time a cry from you made us feel happy.

It hasn’t started yet, but it will. Soon other kids won’t want to play with you, will take your things, will say mean things. You may not be included on the playground or in certain groups. You will cry that confused cry again and wonder why they don’t like you. I won’t have a good answer so Mommy will cry, too.

One day a girl you love won’t feel the same anymore and she will point out a flaw of yours to make her point. She will break your heart and those blue eyes will fill with tears. You will question the existence of love and ask me why it has to hurt so much. I won’t have a good answer so Mommy will cry, too.

One day you’ll will drop the football or miss a free throw and the crowd will make you feel worthless. You will wonder how a split-second reaction can let you down so much. You will want to quit and ask me how something so fun can make you feel so horrible. I won’t have a good answer so Mommy will cry, too.

One day you will get sick or hurt and the pain may bring you to tears. You will wonder how our bodies can betray us and make us feel so awful at times. I won’t have a good answer so Mommy will cry, too.

One day I will be gone. If I have done my job as a parent, you will cry then. Death is bittersweet because crying and missing someone means you had good memories of them. I want us to have those memories.

But Mommy is here to tell you that the tears haven’t and won’t all be bad. God willing, one day you will have a screaming, brand-new baby and his or her first cry will bring tears to your eyes, too. Watching your child being born will remind you there is still good and innocence in the world.

One day you will watch that baby walk through the door of a kindergarten classroom and not look back and you will cry tears of pride. Watching that will remind you there is a purpose for you in this life.

Hopefully you will find the love of your life in a partner and watching her succeed brings tears to your eyes. Watching your love grow through sacrifices and making memories together will remind you love still can exist. 

Looking around a crowded room filled with loved ones celebrating an accomplishment of yours can make you cry, too. Maybe it’s your graduation, wedding, retirement from a job you have put your all into. Watching this will remind you there is a whole community of people who love and support you.

Sometimes the beauty of the world can be so exquisite that just the fact of being alive can make you cry. Remembering that life is so painfully short and that every second is a gift is enough.

So, my son, there will be many times we both cry, and maybe, just maybe, we will realize that tears aren’t always such a bad thing.

Love,
Mommy

Originally published on the author’s blog

You might also like:

My Heart Was Waiting For A Son

Mothering Boys is a Work of the Heart

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here! 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Kelly Houseman

Kelly Houseman is a mental health counselor who maintains a private practice in Michigan. She is the mom of a toddler son and a brand-new baby girl. You can follow her career and family adventures on her blog Kelly's Reality or on Instagram.com @KellysReality.

Dear Kindergarten Graduate, My Hand Will Always Be Yours to Hold

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood

Tomorrow you’ll graduate kindergarten. You chose the perfect shirt for the occasion. It’s a blue and white button-up. “Get one with big checkers, Mom, not little ones,” was your request. I know it’ll make your eyes pop from under your too-big red graduation hat. It’s going to be adorable. You’re going to be adorable.  You’ve been counting down the days. You’re ready and, truthfully, I am too—even though I’m so often in denial about how quickly this time with you is passing. Didn’t you just start crawling? How is it possible you’ll already be in first grade next year? RELATED:...

Keep Reading

You Were Made to Be My Oldest

In: Child
Mom and three kids

You are my firstborn. My big. The one who made me a mama. The one who started this whole crazy, beautiful roller coaster ride the day I found out you were on your way. I remember tip-toeing to the bathroom before the sun rose and taking a pregnancy test. The flutter of excitement in my heart turned into a flutter in my growing tummy within just a few short months. And now here you are, seven years old and more incredible than I imagined in all my wildest dreams. You amaze me every single day with your humor, kindness, and...

Keep Reading

I’m a Kindergarten Mom at the Bottom of the Hill

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Boy holding hands with his mother, color photo

The local elementary school is perched atop an obnoxious hill. It is customary for kindergarten parents to walk their children to the top of the hill as the rest of the grades, first through fifth, having earned their badge of capability and courage, walk alone. Car line is off-limits for kindergartners, which means it’s a walk in whatever weather, whenever school is in session type of vibe. My oldest misses car line. I miss it as well. It’s so simple, convenient, and most importantly, warm and waterproof. But my youngest is a kindergartner, so for the last several months we’ve...

Keep Reading

When He’s 10

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Young tween doing homework at desk, side profile

My son is at an age where he couldn’t care less about personal grooming, his un-selfconsciousness both admirable and aggravating to me. “Let’s clip your fingernails,” I say. No. “Clean your ears.” No. “Cut your hair.” No, Mom, come on, I like it long. But a month or so before his birthday, if he was going to remain a boy and not a lion, he needed a haircut. So, we made some kind of deal, probably a bribe, and finally. Fine. “It’ll be long again before you know it,” I told him, as we walked together into the salon, “you know how...

Keep Reading

He’s Slowly Walking Away with Footprints As Big As Mine

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Teen boy walking along beach shore

The true measure of a mother’s love is her willingness to wake up before the sun on vacation. On a recent trip to the shore, my youngest son begged to walk the beach at dawn to look for shells. So, I set my alarm, tumbled out of a warm, king-sized bed with extra squishy pillows, glared at my dead-to-the-world husband, and gently woke my 11-year-old. Without so much as a drop of coffee, we headed out into the morning, the sun still below the ocean horizon. With each step, I shed my zombie-like state and took in the quiet, salt-kissed...

Keep Reading

Are You Watching?

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Little girl playing goalie at soccer practice, color photo

I brought a book to my 7-year-old daughter’s soccer practice. To be honest, I was looking forward to one hour of time when I didn’t have to do anything but sit. No one would be asking me questions, and no one would need anything from me. I wasn’t in charge. So, I set up my lawn chair, got cozy, and opened the book. But then I happened to glance up as it was her turn to run a drill. The coach was passing each kid the ball for them to kick into the goal. She stepped forward, kicked, and made...

Keep Reading

Dear Sully

In: Child, Motherhood
Little boy smiling holding parents' hands

Dear Sully,  Thank you for changing our lives! Many times when someone thinks about autism they think of it negatively. But I want to talk about autism in a positive light. I want to talk about what our son’s autism has taught us.  We wanted to write this letter to you, my beautiful boy, letting you know just how much you have changed our lives and the things you have taught us.  You have made us more compassionate toward others. You have shown us the ability to not judge others because you never know what struggles they are facing.  You...

Keep Reading

She’s Stepping Into Her Own Self and I’m Learning To Let Her

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Smiling young girl

I was recently asked, “What age do you think your daughter will want to decorate her own room?” I was stumped by the question. I never considered that my 7-year-old daughter would one day replace the unicorn head hanging from her wall or the pink color scheme weaved throughout her furniture pieces. Of course, I knew her room wouldn’t stay that way forever. Still, I had never considered the magnitude of emotions I may experience when that day comes.   The first years of parenting a little girl are filled with externally swayed ideas of how they should dress and...

Keep Reading

You Fill Our Family With Laughter

In: Child, Motherhood
Laughing little girl, black and white photo

Little girl, Sometimes, you have a hard time finding your place. You joined our family at seven. You were so sweet but so unsure. There are ways you’re growing . . . changing . . . grieving . . . struggling. and we don’t always know how to help.  However, we listen, we talk, and we reach out to people who know more than we do. Despite all you are going through, there is a strength that always rises to the top. You are funny. And you find the comedy in everything around you.  RELATED: I Love the Laughter That...

Keep Reading

You Gave Him So Much More than a Haircut

In: Child, Motherhood
Baby boy with long hair, color photo

“Thank you for cutting his hair,” I’ve told Emily many times in passing, or lightheartedly over text. I wish I could show her what it actually means in my heart. “I’ll go in by myself,” he says. Instantly, my mind flashes from the achingly handsome 10-year-old standing in front of me to the toddler he once was. I see his 2-year-old self standing before me in our mudroom. Fresh from Kids Cuts, a soggy sticker on his T-shirt that reads “I GOT MY HAIRCUT.” A red and blotchy face from crying, eyes swollen. The buzz cut was the quickest way...

Keep Reading