I lost my mom when I was 12 and cancer took her away from me.

I lost her again when I met my first boyfriend.

I lost her again when I navigated the murky waters of high school.

I lost her again on the day I got married. 

I lost her again in the delivery room as I gave birth to her grandchildren.

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I lost her again as I struggled to know what to do as a new mom.

I lost her again every Mother’s Day as sadness lingered just beneath the joy I felt as a mother to two children she never got a chance to meet.

I lost her again as I crept closer to the age she was when she died, letting my breath out as that milestone passed me by.

I lost her again the day my daughter got married.

I lost her again both times I welcomed my own grandchildren into this world.

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I lost her again today as I received good news, news she would have rejoiced in, news I’ll never get to share.

I haven’t stopped losing my mom since I was 12.

Sandy Brannan

Sandy Brannan, author of Becoming Invisible, So Much Stays Hidden, Masquerade, and Frozen in Time, is a high school English teacher. Creating memories with her grandchildren is her idea of a perfect day. You can follow Sandy and read more of her writing at https://sandybrannan.comhttp://facebook.com/sandybrannanauthor  http://instagram.com/sandybrannanauthor  and  amazon.com/author/sandybrannan .