My sweet little girl, you have no idea what’s about to happen as my tummy grows bigger each day. We’ve tried to explain what’s happening to you. We point to my growing middle and say things like “Baby! Mommy’s growing a baby,” but all you do is giggle and walk away. I can’t say we blame you. I mean, you’re only 15 months. How could we expect you to comprehend something so large, when you’re still so small?
The months of it being just the three of us are slowly dwindling. We have two more to go and then life as we know it will never be the same. The idea of adding another little girl to our tiny family has me feeling a tad bittersweet. Of course I’m excited for the newborn snuggles, but I’m also keenly aware that my time with only you is coming to an end. Our mommy-daughter duo will grow by one and you will never remember what it was like before becoming a big sister.
But I’ll remember for you.
I’ll remember our morning routine with scrambled eggs and strawberries. Sitting at the table, just us two, giggling over Mickey Mouse Clubhouse playing in the background.
I’ll remember playing in your nursery. All the toys, bought just for you. Watching you pull out each and every book and handing them to me so we could read them one by one together for hours.
You won’t remember all of our walks around the neighborhood. Stopping to see the ducks and swinging at the playground.
You won’t remember pulling out all the Tupperware from the cabinet while I make dinner for our small but warm family of three.
But I’ll remember for you.
I’ll remember our family dance parties in the living room. Swaying you back and forth and spinning around until that infamous baby belly laugh bursts out.
I’ll remember watching movies on the couch. Us with our popcorn, you with your sweet potato puffs. Perfectly quiet, perfectly content.
These moments with you as our only baby will forever hold a special place inside my heart. Forever cherished and adored.
It’s hard to think that in a few short months my attention will be divided. My love will grow even bigger. Our house will be even fuller.
How can something already so great become even greater?
How can I love more than I already am?
I wonder these things as I peek in on you sleeping. So peaceful and still. I wonder how I will ever have enough love, enough time, enough me for you both. I wonder if you will feel a difference. Will you know my love is now shared? Will you care?
It almost makes me sad that you won’t remember our times together. If only our memories formed at a younger age. These moments have been so dear to me though, that I will share them with you when you’re older.
I’ll tell you about the trips we took back to Nebraska and how good you were in your car seat.
I’ll tell you about your first time to the lake and how much you loved riding on the boat.
I’ll tell you about the time we went to Disney and you hated the characters but loved the teacups.
I’ll share every last memory with you so you can cherish them too. I’ll show you pictures and we’ll watch the videos. And then you can remember too.
But if your memories fade—
I’ll remember for you.