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Hi friend,

I have kids now . . . and you don’t. But what you might not know is that I need you more than ever. 

I swore I’d never be that friend once I had kids. I swore it would be different. (Ah, the fibs we tell ourselves before having kids.)

Yes, there are stories of how children change everythingall true. The old song and dance of she changed so much once she had a babyreluctantly, true. Or sometimes, she never has time anymore—sadly, also true. 

RELATED: Friendship Changes When One of You Has a Baby

What I need you to know, my dear friends without kids is even though all these aspects of my life have changed, my love for you hasn’t. Quite the opposite! I need you more than ever. 

I need you to remind me of who I was before this mom life took over. I need you to know I value you. I need to laugh with you like when we were young. I need you to reassure me that even though I’m different, you still love me.

I need you when I desperately need a break from all the mom things. I need you to be patient with me as I find my way. I need you to love my kids even though kids aren’t your thing. 

RELATED: To My Friends Without Kids, I Still Love You

I need you when I don’t want to talk about mom things, I want to hear about you. I need to reconnect with parts of my old self by reconnecting with you. I need you to know I’m different but still the same. 

Our history means so much to me. You are part of who I am. I value your life, your time, your choices, all of you. I want to hear about your new job, your dating life, that trip you are taking, the new coffee shop you found. I still care about those things.

Even though so much has changed, when we are together it’s like nothing has changed. I need you as much as ever. 

I’m still here, and you still matter so much to me even though parts of my life are different . . . even though I’m now called “mom.”

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Krystal Sieben

Hi, I'm Krystal. Minnesota wife and mom of three great kids, three rescue dogs, and a Fjord horse named Syver. Former middle school teacher turned nonprofit director. A chance meeting with a special horse changed my path, and I now run Three Little Burdes Nonprofit. Our goal is to provide adults and children of all abilities with an introduction to ponies and horses. Check us out!

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