I have something to admit—I didn’t thrive in the baby stage. In fact, I often felt like I was drowning.
I have three kids now, ages 15, 12, and 10. When my youngest was born, I also had a 4 1/2-year-old and an almost-2-year-old. Don’t get me wrong, they were the cutest little things—healthy and overall great kids. Here’s the thing: I went into motherhood thinking I would absolutely love the newborn/baby stage and dread the teenage years. I believed that once they hit a certain point, they wouldn’t want to talk to me or be around me, and that it would be “normal” for my teen to despise me. I was fully prepared to cling to the baby stage and brace myself for the teen years.
My experience has been the opposite. I know there are many factors that contribute to my personal journey, and I understand it may be different for other moms. But I want new moms to know—if you feel like you’re drowning in baby and toddler land, I was right there too. It can bring a sense of guilt, especially when some women thrive in the baby phase and fall in love with it. That just wasn’t my experience.
For those who relate, here’s what I want to say: It does get better. You don’t have to dread the teenage stage. Every mom finds love in different stages of motherhood, with amazing milestones and memories at each phase. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I cherish these precious moments now, and I’m also excited for what’s to come.”
What has truly surprised me is how much I enjoy the pre-teen and teenage years. I love the conversations I have with my kids as they grow. I love the adventures we go on together. I appreciate that we can just get up and go without all the extra stuff. Seeing their independence and watching them mature into unique, kind individuals is incredibly rewarding.
I know it won’t always be easy, and that’s okay—life is messy, beautiful, and challenging. I understand they will make mistakes along the way, and I can only hope they have a strong foundation of resilience and self-compassion to learn from those experiences.
Let’s normalize not trash-talking our teens and recognize them as the beautiful, growing souls they are.
To newer moms: don’t dread the teenage years—look forward to them. And know it’s okay if you don’t want to stay in baby land forever.
by Lori Jones 
by Mande Saitta 
