Girls are weird.

Only a girl can say that though without causing a bit of a ruckus.

I live in a house with four small boys and one grown man and here’s what I’ve discovered: these boys are so completely different from me. I often find myself explaining my behavior to my sons while their father nods his head wisely in the background.

We cry when we’re happy and when we’re sad. 

It’s just what we do. God created us with a special outlet that just so happens to seep out of our eyeballs. It’s a stress reliever that helps us reset. It’s what we do when we’re so overjoyed or so upset, and we just can’t even contain it a second longer.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m just so happy!” or “I’m just so tired . . . and sad . . . and depleted . . . and all of the things . . .”

“I just want you to hold me.”

“No, that’s too tight!”

Shake your head without us noticing and please hold us just the right amount of tight.

We need eye contact to verify you’re hearing us. 

Men listen better when they’re doing something, rather than just staring into our eyeballs, but girls feel like they’re being heard way better when your eyes are locked on theirs.

Great. We are at an impasse. So maybe just start by stopping what you’re doing and staring at us for a second until we start pouring out our hearts to you. It helps us. Weird, right?

Sometimes we want you to fix our problems, and sometimes we just want you to listen to us without fixing our problems. 

And guess what, often we’ll let you navigate which method to use with little to no support.

My husband often asks now, “Do you want me to just listen or try and offer you a solution to this dilemma?”

He’s wise. And he’s learned how to delicately handle these tricky encounters.

The hard part is that sometimes we girls aren’t even sure if we want you to just listen or try to fix it. Sometimes it’ll be both things, and sometimes it’ll be one or the other. And we’re sorry . . . and thankful for your patience.

We change our minds, but not because we’re indecisivewe’re just really trying to always make the very best decision possible.

I’ve returned so many clothing purchases in my lifetime. I used to freeze up when the sales associate would ask, “What’s the reason for the return today?”

Now, I just usually say, “I’m a girl. I changed my mind.” And they nod and run the return through.

I figure it’s a reasonable explanation. It’s often hard for us to make calculated decisions on the fly, and we don’t like living with regret. Call it weird, or call it sensible, but either way, just know we’re trying to do what’s best.

We want you to want to help, not just help.

This one is just silly. I guess we’re searching for camaraderie. We don’t just want you to help with the dishes, we want you to WANT to help with the dishes. Ridiculous. Why would anybody actually want to help with the dishes?

I guess realistically we’re asking for you to enjoy the process of working alongside us.

We may be weird, but we’re devoted, creative, loving, hilarious, and super good looking.

So appreciate us for keeping you on your toes.

Thank us for adding mystery and intrigue to an otherwise predictable and steady existence.

And one last thing: if you simply tell us we look gorgeous in our new yoga pants, you know the ones that look exactly the same as all of our old yoga pants, you’ll have our hearts forever.


Originally published on the author’s blog 

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Rebecca Bergman

Rebecca Bergman lives in a 2-bedroom apartment with her handsome husband and 4 enthusiastic young boys. A retired teacher turned homeschooling mama, she does each day with the help of Jesus, coffee, and the library. 

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