I never thought I was the “Christian” type.

I’m not prim and proper.
I’m not a goody-goody.
I’m not a girl who has her life together.

And that’s what I thought it meant to be a Christian.

You live a boring life, absent of any excitement or spontaneity. You have a million rules to follow, and you feel like crap when you inevitably mess up.

Yeah, no thanks.

That’s what I thought.

The thing is though, God kept pursuing me and calling me. I was always wondering about Him even when I wasn’t walking with Him.

But I knew I couldn’t live up to His standards.

And if I’m completely honest here, I didn’t want to give up my fun for the boring, strict life I thought I’d have to live in order to make Him happy.

Man, has my perspective changed since then.

On the one hand, I learned that the whole point of Jesus is that we ALL fall short of His glory. Of course I couldn’t live up to the standards of God. That’s why Jesus did what He did, so I could be seen as holy even though I’m filthy compared to Him.

On the other hand, I learned the instruction God shares with us through His word was not written because He is a mean, no-fun God.

He does not call us to a stale, miserable life.

He says it because following His way will actually lead us to our MOST satisfied life.

The truth is, God created excitement. He created joy. He created fun.

He can give us a sense of satisfaction that NOTHING in this world can—not partying our faces off, not new and shiny objects, not popularity or big houses, nothing.

So He says what He says because He wants us to get to experience that. He wants our soul to be filled with Him so they actually stay full.

Of course this life will contain struggles and suffering, too. But He wants this one life we get to be a good one.

He is a GOOD father.

Now I know that being a follower of Jesus is the single greatest decision of my life.

I’m not bored at all. I feel purpose and I feel more alive than ever.

Even though I’m still not prim and proper or put-together.

He doesn’t care. He just wants my heart so I can live a fulfilling and purposeful life.

He wants yours, too.

This article originally appeared on The Unraveling


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Kelli Bachara

Kelli Bachara is a wife and mom to two sweet kiddos. She is a mental health therapist, writer, and podcaster. Kelli loves her Goldendoodle, coffee, and this beautiful thing called life. You can find her at www.kellibachara.com.