I’ve been a daughter-in-law for about seven years now. Growing up, I always thought about my husband, just like all young girls do. I also thought about my future family.

In the beginning, I was welcomed with open arms. Since then, it’s been a struggle. Earlier this year, I almost left my husband because of the stress his family was putting on our marriage and our family. Once he spoke up and told them this wasn’t happening, things became a little better. Fake, but better.

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A few months later, things went downhill again and there’s no real view of it going back up anytime soon. These trials I’ve had as a daughter-in-law have made me think about my future daughter-in-law and more importantly, my son’s future. Because of this, I’ve decided to write a letter to my future daughter-in-law.

Dear future daughter-in-law:

My son, your future husband, is still young and growing just like I’m sure you are. Wherever you are in the world, I’m already thinking about you even though I don’t know who you are yet. I want to assure you I’m raising a man you’ll be proud to call your husband. 

He does chores including helping with the trash, doing dishes, and picking up his room every single day. I also ask him to pick up the living room because it’s a room we all share and use together. He sees his dad helping with household chores, too. I’m raising my son to grow into a man who will help without you asking him. Cleaning the house is not just your job—it’ll be his, too. 

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His father and I try to show him, every day, what a truly good marriage looks like. We kiss in the kitchen so he will see it’s important to show you affection. When I’m struggling, he sees his dad hold me tight so he sees that even in the rough times, we go through them together.

When he’s wrong, he has to apologize, and more importantly, when his father or myself are wrong, he sees us apologize. You will have your differences, but I’m teaching him to recognize when he’s wrong.

I know I’m not just raising my little boy, I’m raising someone’s father and someone’s husband.

I want him to be the very best version of himself for you and the family you will someday create. 

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I am also training myself to be the best mother-in-law, for you. I promise we will call before we come over and won’t overstay our welcome. I promise I’ll respect your decisions as parents to raise your little ones how you feel is best, and I’ll be the best grandma to your children. 

I’m reminding myself of how hard holidays are especially for young couples and families. I’ll always invite you to my home for the holidays, but if you can’t make it, you don’t owe me any explanation. I’ll take any day in November to celebrate Thanksgiving with you, and I’ll take any day in December to celebrate Christmas with you. Even January if that’s what I need to do to be more convenient for you because any day spent with family is a day well spent. 

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In conclusion, I’m raising my little boy to be the man you’ll someday call yours.

He’s mine right now, but when the time is right, I’ll hand him over to you.

Instead of relying on me when he’s lonely or upset, he’ll rely on you. I’m doing my best to raise your husband to be the best version of himself, and I’m training myself to be the best version of myself as your mother-in-law.

Until we meet in person, I’ll continue to prepare both of us for the future, and I’ll continue to pray for your future together. 

XOXO,
Your future mother-in-law