So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

I determined today would be the day that I’d sit on the porch and read for a while. I wanted it to be relaxing. The chills set in, so I wrapped in a blanket. The water cup was filled to the brim. I opened the book. And then I came to this sentence. I read and took a deep breath. I couldn’t read any more because it cut to the core of who I am, tot the core of who we all are.

In The Reason for God by Tim Keller, Cynthia Heimel is quoted as saying, “The giant thing they were striving for, that fame thing that was going to make everything OK, that was going to make their lives bearable, that was going to fill them with ha-ha-happiness had happened, and the next day they woke up and they were still them. The disillusionment turned them howling and insufferable.”

We crave that ha-ha happiness. We want it more than anything. We think a career or a boyfriend or a husband will solve it. We think the perfectly captured moment for Instagram will brag about it. We think the full calendar will justify it. We crave the affirmation; the stamp of purpose. Whatever it is for you, there is something your heart desires most. 

Sadly we are a discontent group. Sadly we rest in our situations as if there is no hope for tomorrow. Sadly we scroll one more time through Facebook hoping to cheer ourselves up. Sadly we realize our carved pumpkin pales in comparison to so and so. Sadly we cry those tears hoping a be married, have children. Sadly we focus on a career goal with a six figure income that can ultimately be snatched from us in a moment’s notice.

We are all searching for purpose. We are looking for that one thing in life that will seal us with a stamp of approval of “Job well done!” How do I know? Because I’m that girl too. As a newlywed, I have been learning and seeking my purpose as a wife. What does my life look like in this role? I am confident the Lord has blessed me with a husband at this point in life to show me a greater picture of Himself. I am certain the Lord is using this time in my life to direct my purpose to HIM and not him. I know this probably doesn’t make sense. But maybe this will – THE LORD IS OUR ULTIMATE. It’s not found in a size on the scale or a degree or a career or a car. It’s not found in a husband or a boyfriend or girlfriend.

When all of these things come crashing down, we crash. When the boyfriend leaves, we lose it. I’ve lost it. When the job fails, we lose hope. When the car won’t start, we want better. When we fail, we are bitter. Our security is resting in someone/thing other than the Lord. 

I am thankful for the verse found in Psalm 23:3 – HE restores my soul. This verse comes to mind often, including this morning. I was reminded of how God does restore. I am reminded of how He took an insecure high school girl and protected her. I am reminded of how He took a college girl wanting for a love and shielded her from and during unfortunate dating relationships. I am reminded of how He gave me some lowly jobs to restore my trust in Him as the provider. I was certainly reminded this morning how He took a girl who questioned His very existence six months ago and pursued her constantly. He restores my soul, so that I will look to Him as my ultimate – not my job, not my husband, not my family, not my church. Him. 

When we aren’t focused on Him, we are trying to fill that God-gap in our lives with many other things that just won’t fit – Think: trying to put a puzzle together with a 3 year old. She will force that piece right on in, but it just won’t work. That’s what we try to do. Friends, here it is: Seek Him. Look for Him. Don’t run. Don’t fill those places with other things. He wants to give you those things. I believe it with everything I am. He is a good God. But let Him be your ultimate. 

Because yes – we may wake up and still be us. But He is better. He is greater. He is worth it.

Erin Stache

I'm Erin Stache! I'm a Target shopping, Coke drinking, chocolate chip cookie eating, history loving girl from South Carolina! I have a penchant for running, Duke basketball, a train wrecked celeb biography, cute little dresses, the majority of the Chickfila menu, and a healthy dose of reality television. I'm a newlywed who is in love with one Jeremy Stache and is navigating life in the North. Most importantly, I love the Lord, His salvation, His grace and specifically Deuteronomy. I blog at http://www.erinagandy.blogspot.com/

While I Wait for Another Door to Open, I’ll Hold One For Someone Else

In: Faith, Living
Woman teaching another woman by computer

I’m waiting for another door. All my life, I’ve been told that when God closes one door, He opens another. And here I am, staring at the imminent end of the business I’ve built from nothing. Closing down what I started up from sheer willpower, too much caffeine, and the bold determination to work for myself. Scratching out what I made from scratch . . . and it feels horrible. God didn’t just close this door. He slammed it shut, boarded the whole thing up, and hammered the nails in where I cannot pry them open. Believe me. I’ve tried....

Keep Reading

Separating Work From Home is a Must For Me

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom with baby smiling

If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the 11-year-old boy with his pale feet sticking out from under the blanket, on his way to the morgue after a gun accident.   If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the still, blue form of the 3-month-old who passed away in his sleep. We gave CPR and all the medicines “just in case,” but that baby was gone long before his caregiver brought him in through the door. If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the 3-year-old...

Keep Reading

When Teens Are Hard to Love, You Love Them Harder

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy sitting with hood up

I lay face down on the floor, praying. Praying in the loosest sense of the word. Praying in the Romans 8:26 way—you know, when the Spirit “intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Because I could not utter any actual coherent thoughts at that point. I was weary and beaten down. Day after day I had been in combat, battling an opponent I didn’t anticipate: one of my children. My own child, one of the people I had lovingly grown inside my body and loved sacrificially for all these years, had staunchly and repeatedly put himself in opposition...

Keep Reading

In This Stage of Marriage, it Feels Like We’re Roommates Who Share the Same Kids

In: Faith, Marriage
Distant couple on phones in bed

How do you get it back? How do you get back the love you once had? Everyone told me marriage was hard and having kids was hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I thought everyone was lying because our relationship was solid before marriage. We were best friends. Some days I feel like we’re roommates who share the same kids. It disgusts me even to say that, but it’s the truth. Marriage is hard and has ugly sides to it that everyone seems afraid to talk about. RELATED: Keep Showing Up Even When Marriage is...

Keep Reading

You Are the God of Details, but God These Details Don’t Make Sense

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Window open with shutters

That was not the plan. What just happened in there? We walked out a bit defeated. More than a bit. I felt deflated. Things were supposed to be different by now. This wasn’t what I asked for or expected. This wasn’t even what they told me would happen. We cross the street in silence. Headed to the car and as soon as I shut the car door, I could no longer hold it in. I let the tears flow. All this unknown. I don’t understand. This is life. This is foster care. This is what we chose. That doesn’t make...

Keep Reading

I Am a Good Enough Mom

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother kissing toddler

I came to motherhood knowing nothing about the job. My mother’s example wasn’t an example at all, more of something to forget, and maybe even get therapy for. My own son was the first newborn I’d ever held. When I became a mom, I was 23 and clueless.  Because of my personality, I wanted to do everything right and parenthood was no exception. I read all the books on parenting I could. I talked to older moms and soaked up all the advice they gave me. Having no idea what I was doing made me look to outside sources to inform...

Keep Reading

God’s Plan For Me Wasn’t What I Expected

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman walking with children silhouette

I grew up in a family where we knew who God was. We went to church, and we were involved in church. However, when we weren’t at church, time spent in the Word fell to the wayside. Don’t get me wrong, my parents were wonderful people, but we didn’t make that a priority in my house.  Going into adulthood, I realized I had deceived myself into believing I had a relationship with God. I knew God loved me, but I questioned whether I loved Him. I wasn’t living life in a way that was glorifying to Him. I’m not only...

Keep Reading

But God is Still Good

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking out window

“I can’t afford a new one,” I thought to myself as I shampooed another stain. This can’t keep happening. Maybe I made a mistake. I have to make this last. And the couch. And the clothes. And all the things. We are done having babies. The price of food has doubled. It’s astronomical to fill the cars with gas. Things are closing in on me. How can I best serve my family? Survival mode engaged. When I read the news, when I follow the headlines, when I listen to the conversations around me . . .  I hear fear. Loss....

Keep Reading

Jesus Helps Me Smile Through the Weary Moments of Motherhood

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman holding toddler girl, color photo

“Mom, why aren’t you smiling?” My 4-year-old took one look at my face, and like an open book, she could read me. Sometimes I wish I could hide it better, tucked behind an infinite smile or a pasted-on happy face. Sometimes I wish my beautiful children—so young, free, and fun—wouldn’t see my face on a day like today. RELATED: Motherhood is Hard, But Loving You is the Easiest Thing I’ve Ever Done You see, it’s just so hard—all of it. And I am just so tired. Between working a job, trying to keep up with being a supportive wife and...

Keep Reading

The Guilt of an Angry Mother Meets Grace

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother and son hug at home

“No one’s perfect,” I think. I’m mopping up my overspilled anger like the remnants of an erupted chocolate volcano that hit the kitchen floor.  It was the last bucking whine of “I don’t want chocolate in my milk” that did it. The culmination of about one million “I want chocolate in my milk”s ended with a sticky muddy river of it from highchair to floor.  After reasoning with my toddler, which never works well, I gave in to his adamant refusal of white milk for a chocolatey exchange. He responded to my surrender like a 2-year-old. He revolted. Little feet...

Keep Reading