Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

My 3-year-old daughter and I took a morning stroll around our neighborhood while my husband and 7-year-old daughter took the dog for a long hike. It’s become part of our daily routine to keep things somewhat structured during this uncertain time.

As my little fairy (literally wearing a fairy dress) and I began our walk, she held my hand and smiled as the sun enveloped us.

“What should we talk about?” I asked her.

My sweet daughter looked up at me with her deep round eyes and said, “You know mommy, sometimes we have to cry,” in a matter-of-fact manner.

I told her she was right and laughed to myself at how random her thought was. We continued walking and while she picked flowers sniffing them all, it hit me how actually spot on her sentiment was, especially during this time. The days leading up to this moment have had many ups and downs as we ride this rollercoaster not knowing when it will end.

“Why do you think that sometimes we have to cry?” I asked her.

“Because Mommy. It is inside our bodies and we have to let it out,” she answered while handing me a flower.

RELATED: If Today Was Rough, It’s OK To Cry

The day continued and as quickly as I was mesmerized by her truth, I easily snapped back into the seat of the rollercoaster. Moments are fleeting and these days I struggle to stay in the present. I’m worried about the future and missing the past. The rest of the day, everything my husband did or said irritated me. I swear my girls weren’t listening to anything I needed them to do. Everyone and everything has been ticking me off.

Sitting on my bed after the kids are asleep, I feel my shoulders shrugging up to my ears.

The tightness of my muscles screams that something is up. I scheme about how I will fix whatever is going on for me, while also trying to figure out the puzzle as to why I feel off and unsettled. As I dance around the truth that I feel real sadness, I come up with all sorts of crazy solutions. I’m going to lose 10 pounds, then I won’t feel this sadness. I’m going to cut my bangs, maybe dye my hair pink and revamp my style to distract me from this feeling of powerlessness. I’m going to train to run a marathon so that I have endorphins and a goal in mind to keep me focused on something else.

Then, in the middle of my quick fix list, my gut calmly says, How about you don’t do anything and you allow yourself to feel it? Maybe sometimes you have to cry, remember?

RELATED: In Times Like These, It’s OK To Cry

My sleeping angel’s fact about being human hits me like a ton of bricks, as the lessons from my children always do.

She’s right. Sometimes I just have to cry.

It is a natural instinct to cry. So, why do I avoid, deny, and run away from this part of my humanness?

I think about the reasons my children cry and how I accept their tears with open arms. Maybe I need to do the same for myself. My protective shell begins to crack and as it opens up, I allow the tears to come.

As they do, I think of all the reasons why, as my daughter said, “Sometimes we have to cry.”

Sometimes we have to cry because emotions can become too overwhelming that they need to be released.

Sometimes we have to cry because holding it tight inside hurts us more.

Sometimes we have to cry because life is unfair and hard at times.

Sometimes we have to cry so that we can move forward and no longer remain stuck.

Sometimes we have to cry so that we can find clarity in our truth.

Sometimes we have to cry because in the process of letting go, we lift our spirits.

Sometimes we just have to cry, and during this time, it’s absolutely OK to let the tears flow. I don’t need to let them take over, but I do need to embrace the emotions that sit inside so that I can be present and see the beauty during this time, too.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Michaela Massoletti

Michaela Massoletti is a mother, a wife, and a woman in recovery since 2008. She has worked in the field of drug and alcohol treatment for 7 years. After taking time off work to be a stay at home mom to her two daughters, Michaela began writing again. She believes that speaking her truth might empower others to find their voices.

Do They Notice My Self-Doubt as a Working Mom?

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror holding a coffee cup

At the office, I forget yet another small detail. Later, I am asked a simple question, something I should know the answer to, and I respond with “I don’t know” because it didn’t even occur to me to have that information on hand. I feel incapable of planning much ahead and insecure about my ability to read through the fine print. Another day of work is missed to be home with a sick baby, it’s been a difficult winter with illness striking our home, including a round of influenza for me. Meetings I was supposed to lead are covered by...

Keep Reading

You Are Someone’s Beautiful

In: Motherhood
Woman hugging herself

It’s 10:45 p.m. For the first time since I “put my face on” this morning, I stood staring back at myself in the mirror. I poked at my eyes and forehead. “How much you’ve changed,” I thought as I noticed new lines and grooves in my face. It’s funny, because earlier in the evening, I sat at my parent’s kitchen island, looking at magnets that hung on their refrigerator. Our daughter’s birth announcement stood out to me. “Wow!” I remarked to my mother who was admiring them with me. “That feels like forever ago.” It was only six years ago when...

Keep Reading

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mother and child walking through forest, color photo

Any mom, typical or special needs, will tell you having kids is the fastest way to tell who your real friends are. When your child is born with special needs this process becomes even more severe and obvious. At first, people visit and want to hold the baby, but once the delays kick in slowly people start to pull away. Disability makes them uncomfortable. That’s the truth. They hope you won’t notice, but you do. Honestly, most stop trying altogether. It’s not just friends who act this way either, sometimes it’s family too. That hurts the most. As a parent...

Keep Reading

Hey Mom, It’s Okay Not to Be Perfect

In: Motherhood
Mother with head in hands and child jumping on couch nearby

Have you ever walked into a room, to an event, or a meeting, where you immediately felt out of place? As if you had come into a foreign space where you were not worthy, or just didn’t belong among the other mothers in the room? Maybe you were not dressed the part. Your hair may have fallen in messy strands around your face, or you may not have taken the time to put on a full face of makeup as the other women in the room had. Maybe your clothing choice of the day was just not quite as put...

Keep Reading

Dear Child, You Are Not Responsible for How Anyone Else Feels about You

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Teen girl looking in the mirror putting on earrings

Dear kiddo, I have so many dreams for you. A million hopes and desires run through my mind every day on a never-ending loop, along with worries and fears, and so, so much prayer. Sometimes, it feels like my happiness is tied with ropes of steel to yours. And yet, the truth is, there are times you disappoint me. You will continue to disappoint me as you grow and make your own choices and take different paths than the ones I have imagined for you. But I’m going to tell you a secret (although I suspect you already know): My...

Keep Reading

Now I Know How a Mother Is Made

In: Motherhood
Husband, wife, and young son, color photo

It’s been almost three years now, but I can still remember how your 8-pound body felt in my arms. Night after night as we tried to sleep, I remember your sounds, your movements, and your tiny hands. I gave it my all but still felt I fell short. You see sweet little one, you may have been brand new to this world, but so was I. The day you were born, a mother was born too. Things didn’t always go according to plan. It’s hard when you try your best, but you just can’t get there. So many new things...

Keep Reading

I’m Praying for My Teenager in These Challenging Years

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy holding a smartphone and wearing headphones

In my mid-40s, I began to long for a baby. We didn’t get much encouragement from friends and family. My husband is a high-functioning quadriplegic, and I was considered way too old to start a family. But our marriage was stable, we were used to obstacles, we were financially prepared, emotionally experienced, and our careers were established. I began to paint my own sublime mental portrait of parenting tranquility. What could go wrong? At 48, I delivered a healthy baby boy, and he was perfect. We adored him. The baby we had longed for and prayed for, we had. And...

Keep Reading

Going to Church with Kids is Hard but We’ll Keep Showing Up

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding young daughter in church

Going to church is hard with young kids. It used to be something I looked forward to. It’s something I’ve always valued deeply and needed desperately. It’s the one place that will always be home regardless of what location or building it’s in or what people attend. Church is my sanctuary. But it’s become a battle with the kids’ resistance, my tired mind and body, and my lack of ability to actually listen to the sermon. Going to church is hard with young kids. It’s become normal for me to lie down in bed on Saturday night thinking, with dread,...

Keep Reading

When Motherhood Feels Like a Limitation

In: Faith, Motherhood
Ruth Chou Simons holding book

Twenty-one years ago, my husband Troy and I welcomed our first son into the world. Two years later, I gave birth to another boy. And again two years later, and again two years after that. A fifth boy joined our family another two years later, and a final son was born 11 years after we began our parenting journey. If you were counting, you’re not mistaken—that’s six sons in just over a decade. We were overjoyed and more than a little exhausted. I remember feeling frustrated with the limitations of the little years with young children when I was a...

Keep Reading

I Obsessed over Her Heartbeat Because She’s My Rainbow Baby

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother and teen daughter with ice cream cones, color photo

I delivered a stillborn sleeping baby boy five years before my rainbow baby. I carried this sweet baby boy for seven whole months with no indication that he wouldn’t live. Listening to his heartbeat at each prenatal visit until one day there was no heartbeat to hear. It crushed me. ”I’m sorry but your baby is dead,” are words I’ll never be able to unhear. And because of these words, I had no words. For what felt like weeks, I spoke only in tears as they streamed down my cheeks. But I know it couldn’t have been that long. Because...

Keep Reading