Any mom, typical or special needs, will tell you having kids is the fastest way to tell who your real friends are. When your child is born with special needs this process becomes even more severe and obvious. At first, people visit and want to hold the baby, but once the delays kick in slowly people start to pull away. Disability makes them uncomfortable. That’s the truth. They hope you won’t notice, but you do. Honestly, most stop trying altogether. It’s not just friends who act this way either, sometimes it’s family too. That hurts the most.

As a parent and a person stuck between the worlds of typically developed society and the very special world of my children, it can feel a bit like I’ve been tossed in the lost and found bin. You know where you belong, but it’s almost as if the world around you is not quite sure anymore.

Thankfully, some special people will eventually come along and recognize you. They will look past the diagnosis, past the fog of your life, and grab your hand, pulling you up and out into the part of the world where you now belong. I promise there will be the tried and true individuals who will see you on the battlefield for your child. They will without hesitation toss on a helmet and run out to battle alongside you.

Thank God for those people. They will check in on you, they will visit when they can, they will text you encouragement when they know you have a big day coming up. They will talk to you about their problems, which you will find to be a wildly refreshing change of pace from always discussing your own. It’s nice to be reminded that other people have struggles too. They will talk to and interact with your child knowing that lack of eye contact does not mean they don’t hear or feel that love coming to them. They will just get it. They will make you feel like a part of the world again.

For every 10 people who don’t get it, there will be maybe one who does. But these people are so special and so true that it makes you see that you and your family are better off without the ones who didn’t want to learn your new normal.

They will be like beacons of hope to you. They will become your life rafts and your guideposts while you navigate the storms of life for your child. But most importantly, they will be there, coffee in hand, when you’re able to stop fighting for a moment. They will help bring you back to the side of the world that holds the easier things and they won’t be afraid to ask you, ” How are you, really?” knowing your answer might be messy and hard.

These people and the connection they provide are so vital to the mental health of special needs parents. They are what keep us from being completely sucked in to the black hole of stress that can completely consume our lives without the support we so truly need.

So I just wanted to write this to say thank you to the true few. The people who can weather our storm and who never hesitate to remind me to take it easy when I’m being hard on myself. The people who ask how the girls are doing and really want to know. The people who rejoice in their smiles the same way I do.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to repay them for what they do for me, but I just wanted to say thank you for pulling me from the lost and found bin, brushing me off, and showing me my own value again. You all are so vital.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page