If you know a mom, chances are she might have changed some since becoming a mom.

Maybe she seems more tired than she used to be.

Maybe she’s not as put together as she used to be.

Maybe she’s not in the best shape of her life.

You might assume she’s let herself go since becoming a mom.

The truth is though, she didn’t let herself go. She let go of herself and her own needs to put her family first.

She let go of a regular sleep schedule when she became a mom to a newborn—and never got her sleep back.

First, there are the night feedings and diaper changes with a baby.

Some toddlers still get up in the middle of the night.

Even when toddlers start sleeping through the night, they are known for making messes, so once they are asleep, moms are doing lots of clean-up.

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When kids are in school, they have activities to go to, and homework that needs to be done in the evening. Moms help their kids with all this. Moms do the stuff they need to get done around the house after the kids go to bed, so they are up later than they should be.

Moms let go of a regular eating schedule.

In the newborn days of feed the baby, change the baby’s diaper, hold the baby, and repeat all day and night, moms don’t get a lot of time to sit down and eat. They eat when they can.

In the picky toddler days, moms often wait to see what their child eats (or doesn’t) and end up eating a leftover plate of chicken nuggets hours after lunchtime when their toddler decides to take a nap.

At dinner time, moms are busy getting everyone else their food first and sit down last, often needing to reheat their plates.

Moms let go of their own activities and interests to support their kids.

There are only so many hours in a day. Moms want to be there for all their kids’ stuff.

They take their kids to storytimes at the library.

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They take their kids to baseball and soccer practice.

They are there to cheer on their kids at the games.

They don’t want to miss their kid’s childhood, so they say goodbye to stuff they used to do in their free time.

Moms give up a lot, but they do it because they love their families so much.

They choose every day to put themselves last for the benefit of others. And they’d do it all again to do what’s best for their kids.

That tired, not-so-well-put-together mom you see has just been too busy taking care of everyone else in her life to focus on herself. She let go of herself for the sake of others.