Two kids into this parenting journey, I’m exhausted most days. At the end of the day, I’m worn out. I’m touched out. I’m just tired, and the baby will be up early. Of course, I miss you, but some nights I need to sleep when the kids go to sleep and I can’t even help it.

I know we’ve had babies in our bed for over four years. I’m not ready to stop breastfeeding and cuddling him. This season is so short. We’ll cuddle again. Soon, it’ll just be us in the bed. You just have to be patient. Of course, I miss you, but this is our last baby, and I’m having trouble with that.

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As the kids get older, the baby fog is lifting. I want to do things for myself again. I want to work out and feel strong again. My body and mind feel better when I get this done.

Of course, I miss you, but working out alone is a great break for many parts of me. 

The writing ideas are flowing again. I desperately want to write. My brain is back in it, and I can no longer go a day without contributing to my passion. It makes my brain so happy. Of course, I miss you, but some nights after the kids go to bed, I need some writing time. 

Getting a babysitter isn’t as easy as it could be. Plus, it’s not all that fun to go anywhere right now. I’m worried about leaving the baby. He seems to have severe separation anxiety. Of course, I miss you, but date nights away are more stressful than fun right now. 

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Kids are touching me all day. Getting touched out is a very real thing. It’s not about you when I don’t want to cuddle, some days I just don’t want to be touched at all anymore by anyone. Of course, I miss you, but please don’t try to touch me today.

I’m doing all I can to be everything to everyone and sometimes you get the fuzzy end of the lollipop. I’m sorry about that, but the kids take so much of me. My time, my energy, my patience. Some days I’m worn out, but most days, I try because, of course, I miss you

I miss the days of doing whatever we wanted. I miss going out to dinner. I miss having uninterrupted conversations.

Time is so short now. So fleeting. Sometimes it feels that life is just zipping by.

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But the little ones we’ve created, I wouldn’t give up for anything. They are my world, but they won’t be so little forever. We will have our chance to bring back some of what it means to be a couple. And while I’m torn apart by how fast they grow, it will be nice to really see you again. When I’m well-rested and not touched out. When I have a chance to breathe. I’ll meet you there because, of course, I miss you. 

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Kristen Winiarski 

Kristen N. Winiarski spends much of her days battling her kids' hangry moods with bacon and Cookie Monster impressions. She also encourages dance parties as P.E. whenever possible. Published by Motherfigure, Her View From Home, Filter Free Parents and Allegory Magazine, Kristen started writing at just 10 years old. She excels in writing about motherhood, classic movies and also writes fiction. You can find her at https://knwiniarski.com and www.facebook.com/knwiniarski.