First times and fears. Sleepy days and restless nights. Endless love and constant worry.

The day you came into this world, you were fragile and so small. I was worried I would break you and prayed for the strength to raise you well.

Though the days all ran together, I remember as clear as day, you looked at me and smiled for the first time and I was yours forever.

The long nights, rocking and swaying, ended in the blink of an eye, when I least expected them to.

Thank you, God, for this gift, for this baby. Motherhood always brings me to my knees, in prayers of gratitude.

The trials and tantrums. The spills and sticky hands. The adventurous spirit and crooked smile.

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Half of the day, you shout, “I do it myself!” While other times, tired from your bouts of independence, you cling to the comfort and familiarity of Mama’s arms.

I collapse into bed, no fight left within me, and whisper, “Lord, help me” as I fall into what is sure to be interrupted sleep.

Motherhood always brings me to my knees, in exhausted prayers that only God can understand. 

Playdates and first friends. Off to school and toothless grins. You need me just a little less. But I still hold the place of your number one fan.

You might be growing quickly, but you still call out, “Love you, Mama” to the crowd, and you aren’t too old yet to hold my hand where peering eyes might notice.

I thank God for the moments that you’re little, and I pray for the grace to let you go as you’ll only be this way for such a little while.

Motherhood always brings me to my knees, blessing God for choosing me to be your mama even if I only get it right half the time.

Hormones and heartbreak. Lonely and left out. Still childish and silly but more aware of the world now.

These years are never especially kind to anyone, so I navigate the storms with you in the best way I know how.  

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If you don’t get invited to the party, we have our own. When you think you don’t fit in, I remind you that you were born to stand out.

When you want to be alone, I take a few steps back. When you want to cry in my lap, I drop all of my plans.

I always pray that you’ll feel loved by the people who matter most.

I always hope I’ll help you see that after the storm, come rainbows.

Motherhood always brings me to my knees.

I pray you will have the wisdom to choose your circle well. I pray you’ll be so sure of who you are and whose you are that you’ll never feel truly alone.

You’re still a little bit child . . . a little teen . . . a little bit I need you, Mama and a little bit I need room to breathe.

Yes, motherhood brings me to my knees, and it always will.

Originally published on Today Parenting

Tabitha Yates

The Redeemed Mama is a published writer, certified life coach, and busy homeschooling mama. She resides in southern Arizona with her three children and loves writing about parenting, life, and growth! Come join her social media community for a healthy dose of hope, healing, and humor!