Our Biggest Sale of the Year Ends Today!🎄 ➔

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds

“We don’t want a baby who is too dependent.”

“We don’t want a baby who is too attached.” 

So we spend those early years pushing our children towards independence. 

At a time when we are their worlds. 

We tell them they need independence. 

They don’t need us as much as they think they do. 

We tell them that they are big boys or girls.

And we push. And we push. And our babies resist. And we find their resistance suffocating. But we are told to continue pushing, telling ourselves that we NEED this holy grail. 

This, this independence . . . 

Then as our children approach teenhood, they tell us that THEY WANT more independence. 

That THEY NEED it. They tell us that they don’t need us as much as we think they do. 

They tell us that they are grown up. 

And we resist. And we resist. And they tell us that we are suffocating them. And our children push but we keep on resisting and we tell them that they are not as ready for independence as they think they are. 

And the irony of that scenario is unquestionable. 

Something that seemed so important in those early years. 

But what did we expect? 

To have a 15-year-old still refusing to sleep in his room? 

To have a 16-year-old insisting on being with his parents every night instead of seeing his friends? 

To have grown up children who want to stay home and cuddle up to us night after night, unable to fall asleep unless in our arms?

And as our children grow up, and move out, and are no longer our children, we are no longer the center of their worlds. 

And should we be lucky enough to have grandchildren, when we hold them, we will gaze into their eyes and melt in the dusty pools, and wrap our fingers around theirs. 

And smell their hair, and drink in their very existence, forgetting about everything else that is happening around us. We allow ourselves to be in the moment. The moment that we never allowed in those earlier years. 

We just love them for now. 

No thought to the future. 

But our minds have plenty of thought to the past. 

We cast our minds back to a time when we longed for our own children’s independence. And how it was gone in the blink of an eye. 

And we wish for that time back. We wish for a time when our children depended on us. 

And we realise that perhaps it wasn’t as suffocating as we once thought it was. 

When we were the center of their worlds.

You may also like: 

When You No Longer Want Kisses From Mama

My World Really Does Revolve Around My Kids

I Hold You Still

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here!

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Kate Thornalley

I’ve worked with children for almost the entirety of my working life, including spending many years teaching in third world countries. I thought having worked with children from all across the board that I would have motherhood sussed. But I did not. I suffered with post natal depression after both births, and I decided one day that I would share my journey with other mums so that they would not feel alone. Alone in the same way that I did! No one should feel that way. The more I opened up, the more I learned that others felt the same. The more honest I was, the more other mothers would start to share with me, and in turn, the more normal I started to feel. I have two children: one 3 and a 1/2 and one 14 months. They are my world. I am also very lucky to have a supportive husband who works very hard to keep our family afloat. I would often feel like I had failed by having a child who did not want to go down to sleep, but I soon learned that many parents are in the same boat. I wanted others to know that it is very normal for this to be the case!

Time Slips Like Sand Through a Mother’s Fingers

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Son kissing mother

I take a handful of sand and watch the granules gradually slip between my fingers. My 1-year-old digs in the sand, then puts the yellow plastic shovel in his mouth. I chuckle at the grimace on his face and dust away sand from his lips. It feels like yesterday my oldest boy had the same wispy blonde hair that turned platinum in the summer, sweet dimples on his hands and knees. Now, his hair has darkened and his legs have lengthened. And somewhere along the way, he stopped calling me Mommy, switching to a simpler Mom. I didn’t even notice...

Keep Reading

Tuck the Moon Inside Your Heart, Sweet Girl

In: Child, Motherhood
Little girl and mother at bedtime

Earlier this month, the astrophotographer Marcella Giulia Pace published the most amazing photograph that depicted 48 different colors of a full moon, captured over the course of 10 years. It is a stunning photograph, showing the moon bathed in the most magnificent ombre hues of reds, purples, blues, oranges, and browns. The colors of the Moon seen from the Earth.#NASAMoonSnap #NASAArtemis @NASAArtemis pic.twitter.com/FERfUe2nwR — Marcella Giulia Pace (@enrosadire) August 20, 2022 When I first saw it, I just stopped and stared at it for a long while, absorbing the nuanced grandeur of the image. How special it was that—for 10...

Keep Reading

I Know What It’s Like To Have a Difficult Child

In: Child, Motherhood
Little girl kneeling on deck, color photo

One Sunday morning during church, I was standing around bouncing my fussy premature baby around the cry room. This room is special—a place for nursing moms and moms with young kids to watch the live sermon on a monitor. I wasn’t alone, two other moms sat on the couches, and we were all chatting. A beautiful but tired mom sat with her little girl snuggled in her arms, gazing at the lights.  “She’s so chill. She’s like this all the time, much easier than my other son.”  I looked over at her with big eyes and a laugh, “I’m jealous!...

Keep Reading

His First Haircut Was the Start of Letting Go

In: Child, Motherhood, Tween
Toddler smiling and holding popsicle, color photo

My son has the most beautiful curls. I remember when his hair started growing as a baby and a little ringlet appeared. My momma heart was bursting with excitement. Yes, I will admit something as superficial as a curl made me squeal.  The kid just has adorable hair—and where does this wondrous flow come from? He didn’t inherit it from me, and his dad doesn’t have a curl to boot either. In a way, it’s become my youngest’s trademark.  The day came for his first haircut, and then his second one. I remember watching his curls fall to the ground...

Keep Reading

Best Gifts For 8-10 Year Olds

In: Child, Gift Guides, Kids, Products We Love

Kids in this age range are developing skills and interests quickly, while becoming more independent and ready for new challenges. They are ready for more complicated games, reading, and artistic endeavors. And of course, they love technology. To help you shop for kids who are suddenly bigger and more mature, we’ve put together this list of our favorite gifts which touch on everything from science to games to technology to art and everything in between! Recommendations in this post contain affiliate links. Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.   If you liked...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Your Joy Is Contagious

In: Child, Motherhood
Baby smiling

Dear daughter, Thank you for teaching me what joy is. Thank you for waking up laughing and babbling, no matter how dark the night was. Thank you for that sweet smile you give me when you see me, half-awake and lying in bed in the morning. Thank you for the grin that lights up the room when your dad comes home from work. RELATED: My Beautiful Baby, You Revealed in My Heart a Love I Never Knew Possible Some days are rough. When you’re crying and I don’t know what you want, or when my arms are sore from holding...

Keep Reading

Dear Son, My Heart Wasn’t Ready for You To Grow So Fast

In: Child, Motherhood
Little boy running in the surf

Dear son, I wasn’t ready for this. But you were. I had it all planned out. I would enjoy the last few months of your toddlerhood—that beautiful and wild in-between age between the baby and little boy phase.  When I get hundreds of cuddles a day. When you cover me with kisses randomly. When you hold my thumb while watching a show together.  I knew the toddler phase was coming to a close, and I was doing all the things getting you ready for this next season.  Your clothes were getting smaller, dinosaurs and cars were your main passion, and...

Keep Reading

Why Does It All Go So Fast?

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Little girl running down sunlit path

I remember the day you were born so vividly. It’s etched into my brain as one of the best moments of my life. As if I could ever forget. I remember the way I felt when I saw you for the very first time. That first snuggle. That feeling of I did it, you’re finally here and thank goodness it’s over. I remember the first time I tucked my finger into your delicate little hand. When I looked down at you and you looked up at me. That was when my entire world stopped. I realized at that moment my...

Keep Reading

To the Daycare Teachers Watching My Babies Grow with Me

In: Child, Motherhood
Child smiling

I remember the knot in my stomach when my husband and I made the decision to put our kids in daycare. On a stormy afternoon, we toured the facility we had picked, 35 minutes from our house. After the tour I knew without a doubt if my kids had to go to daycare, this is where I wanted them to be.  The knot I had in my stomach, in the beginning, has since gone. My son started coming home every afternoon talking about how much he loved “school” and how much he loved his teachers, which helped ease my worries....

Keep Reading

What the Mama in the Meltdown Really Needs

In: Child, Motherhood, Toddler

I was so excited to enroll my 3-year-old daughter into gymnastics—she’s my always active, fearless, stubborn, and daring girl. The girl whose teachers had to ask me to remind her that swinging from arch to arch in the classroom was not OK, and who has nearly given me heart attacks flipping off the couch. The girl who has so much high energy, that I know getting it all out with sports would be so healthy for her. The girl who is fierce about doing everything “by herself . . . “ I just knew she would love gymnastics. And she...

Keep Reading