Our Biggest Sale of the Year Ends Today!🎄 ➔

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds

My sweet child, when I found out I was pregnant with you, I knew life would change dramatically. I knew pregnancy would be tough, labor painful, and motherhood exhausting. I knew I would love my little human a lot and that he would bring boundless joy into our lives. But one thing I never knew was simply how much I never knew.

I never knew someone could need sautéed asparagus until that middle of the night craving.

I never knew one month could last for an eternity until I was 36-weeks pregnant.

I never knew I would miss being kicked in the ribs and awoken in the middle of the night to baby wiggles until you were no longer in my belly.

I never knew I was strong enough to endure labor until you put me through 43 hours of it.

I never knew I could miss someone I’d only met that day until they took you away while I was in recovery.

I never knew the deep sense of privilege and responsibility that comes from someone trusting me entirely for everything until they placed your helpless body in my arms.

I never knew the darkness of postpartum depression until we were fighting against it.

RELATED: Postpartum Depression is a Liar and a Thief

I never knew how unprepared I was until my perfect parenting strategy plan failed in the first week.

I never knew how expensive diapers were until you went through a million and a half of them in a single day.

I never knew how many clothes we had until I no longer had the time to do laundry and I saw the huge mound of dirty clothes.

I never knew how many Google images there are of poop until I found myself searching “Is this normal newborn poop color?”

I never knew I could be so immensely proud of a person just for rolling over until I was cheering you on. 

I never knew I could run on so little sleep until you tested me during the long nights of teething or sickness.

I never knew how a baby’s laugh could cheer the darkest day until your belly laugh filled our house.

RELATED: I Don’t Love Every Moment of Motherhood, But I Love Being Their Mom

I never knew how dirty my floors were until you started crawling and tried to eat every tiny speck of dust you found.

I never knew how a mama’s heart explodes when their baby learns to give kisses until you soaked my cheeks with them.

I never knew how bittersweet it would be to watch you take your first step until my heart both soared with pride and twisted with sorrow that you were no longer a baby.

I never knew how many lines we could make up for “Wheels on the Bus” until it became your favorite song.

I never knew how terrifying it was to have something medically wrong with my child until I was sobbing in the surgery waiting room.

I never knew how fast time goes by until I was celebrating your first birthday.

I never knew that footsteps could be my favorite sound until I heard your clumsy toddler trot running down the hall.

I never knew how precious post-nap cuddles were until your fuzzy head was nestled against my neck.

I never knew how hilarious a person blowing their nose was until your uncontainable laugh filled the sanctuary every time you heard a nose blown in church.

RELATED: To the Distracted Mom at Church: it’s Worth it

I never knew how fast a 2-foot-tall person could run until you found something you weren’t supposed to have.

I never knew the simplicity of forgiveness until you gave me a hug after I lost my patience with you.

I never knew how much I could learn from such a tiny person.

I never knew how completely someone could take over my heart. I never knew that a child could forever become a piece of me. I never knew how much brighter my life would be.

I never knew . . . until I knew you.

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Brianna Forsman

Brianna is a pastor's wife and stay-at-home mom to a rambunctious toddler and new baby. As a former preschool teacher, she is a Pixar enthusiast, eats way too many Goldfish crackers, and prefers socks with characters on them (generally mismatched because who really has time to pair socks?). She has loved writing for as long as she can remember, and she always strives to write authentic, humorous, and encouraging pieces. Her greatest passion is to write in a way that supports young moms and reminds them they're not alone in the battles and triumphs of this beautiful road of motherhood.

I Promise to Show Up for You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter in garden

My child, I hope you know you can count on this: I will show up for you. I will show up when you wake in the middle of the night, when you get up too early or stay up too late. I will be there to make your meals, read you a story, and tuck you into bed. I will show up when you are sick—taking time off work, bringing you to the doctor, cleaning up your throw-up, and sitting up with you. I will show up at every game, sitting in the stands or a camp chair, freezing or...

Keep Reading

A Strong Woman Does Not Always Feel Strong

In: Motherhood
Woman holding baby on beach, color photo

You feel weak, mama, but you are strong  We wear our strength in many forms, barely noticing the feats we accomplish daily.  The strength of a mom can be seen carrying grocery bags from the trunk to the house, upstairs and down again, with a baby strapped to her chest.  The strength of a mom is pushing two kids on swings next to each other while inwardly dealing with a recent miscarriage eating away at her heart. She holds back tears while picturing a newborn in a stroller nearby watching. And the hole deepens. Yet she carries on.  The strength...

Keep Reading

When You Feel Like You’re Failing, Know You’re Not Alone

In: Motherhood
Tired woman sitting in messy child's bedroom

Dear parent, you are going to fail. You are going to fail over and over again while parenting. I don’t care if you have nine children or one. I don’t care if you are a step-parent, an adoptive parent, or anything in between—you are going to fail. Over and over again. But the great thing about kids is God made them so resilient and forgiving, so He could show us grace on earth.  I have forgotten to send the paperwork to the school. I have forgotten about events and practices for the kids.  RELATED: I May Fail, But I’ll Go...

Keep Reading

Our Nanny Is a Special Part of Our Family

In: Motherhood
Family with nanny, color photo

The saying is “it takes a village,” and I didn’t know how true this would ring until I had children of my own. Within ours, I anticipated family, friends, the church, and various members of the community. What I never anticipated was the special role our nanny would fill within our family. As working moms, leaving our kids in someone else’s care is hard, no matter the circumstances. We wonder if they’ll miss us and whether their day will still feel full in spite of our absence.  Ever since we brought our nanny into the family, I’ve never had to...

Keep Reading

Maybe Motherhood Is a Chance to Begin Again

In: Motherhood

It’s a funny thing when you have your own children, only then do you start to see yourself in such a way that you’ve never seen before. Terrifying yet beautiful. Before you become a parent, you have this vision of how you swear you will parent. It may be an exact replica of how you were parented or may be completely different. The only guarantee is that you don’t actually know until you become a parent. Some days you hear yourself and you sound just like your mother, your father, your grandmother, your aunt, or anyone who was around long...

Keep Reading

Healing and a Horse Named Chadwick

In: Motherhood
Woman with horse, black-and-white photo

I am by no means a horsewoman. I am a regular person lucky enough to have had an extraordinary experience with a horse. My daughter asked to ride horses from the time she could talk. Having no horse experience myself, in the fall of 2019, I found a barn willing to give pony lessons to a small child. There was something waiting for me at the barn too . . . I just didn’t know it yet. I can’t remember when Chadwick started watching us from the fence. One day he was just there . . . and every day...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Growth Is Tangible, and When It Is You Hold On Tight

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mom putting bike helmet on child

I never expected my sign to come in the form of a plastic bag. As a parent, you’re told over and over how fast it all goes, to cherish these times because they’re gone in a blink. You see the gradual changes in your kids as they move through milestones. One day, they can hold their own spoon. They begin stringing words into sentences. Their ages are counted in years and no longer months. You watch these things happen every day, but I didn’t realize some transitions would come in tangible ways, like a grocery bag filled with wet swim...

Keep Reading

Some Nights They Need You a Little More

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sleeping, color photo

Some nights they need you a little more, mama. Because of the bad dreams or the bogeyman they are adamant is under the bed. Because firefighter daddy’s schedule leaves him missing goodnight tuck-ins and bedtime stories several times a week, sometimes leaving them a little needier and more emotional. Some nights they need you a little more, mama. RELATED: I’ll Lay With You As Long As You Need, My Child Because they are sick. Because they feel safe in your presence. Some nights they need you a little more, mama. It’s not always easy. It’s not always (okay, hardly ever)...

Keep Reading

Will My Child Be Like I Was As a Teen?

In: Motherhood, Teen
Woman holding baby, color photo

The day my son turned 15, I was overcome by fear and anxiety. An impending doom like a little, black, raincloud hung over my head as I wondered . . . will he be like me as a teenager? The year that led up to his 15th birthday, I rewatched Dawson’s Creek. Perhaps that’s where I went wrong. I binge-watched the ’90s teen drama of these TV characters who grew up alongside me, but this time through the eyes of an adult—a mom—and not the eyes of a teenager. Episode after episode features teens talking about sex, having sex, drinking,...

Keep Reading

I’m Giving My Daughter Space To Define Her Adoption

In: Motherhood
Young girl and her mom at pumpkin patch, color photo

I cracked a joke, and as I walked from the table, I heard her mutter to her friends, “Good thing I’m adopted!” I forced myself to continue moving and tried to hide my rapidly blushing cheeks. I volunteer at my daughter’s school when I can. Today I had library duty, and it’s an assignment I love. I am an avid reader, and I like being surrounded by so many words. I also get to see the kids interact with each other and the librarian. Lastly, it’s an hour commitment so I can be a mom but also still be me....

Keep Reading