I’m sure the moment you found out you were pregnant you wondered what your baby would be like. “Will it be a boy or a girl? Will she have my nose? Will he have his dad’s eyes?”
After the initial shock of finding out I was pregnant shortly after my husband and I got married, the last thing on my mind was the type of demeanor our baby would have. I could hardly wait to find out if it would be a boy or girl. Even after my first baby girl was born, I was so intrigued by her little fingers and toes, her perfect blue eyes, and how we bonded so easily, I didn’t really consider what kind of personality she’d have.
It wasn’t until she was about two or three years old that I realized I was going to have my work cut out for me. She was EXACTLY like her dad! Now don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. My husband never meets a stranger, can strike up a conversation with someone he’s never met and ends up making new friends within five minutes.
I, on the other hand, flare up in hives and get cold, clammy hands if someone I don’t know starts talking to me.
I get flustered, start awkwardly talking about inappropriate things, and just end up looking ridiculous.
I’ve been this way my whole life. In high school, I had a few good friends and didn’t have the guts to even try to make more. Unfortunately, I was always seen as being stuck-up and this “image” I’m portraying still follows me.
But, this is where I am trying my best to turn the corner. I have no other option.
My 5-year-old is the little girl I always wished I could be.
She has the confidence, energy, and has the charismatic attitude I long for. Truth be told, she’s made me more “mommy friends” just from her activities she’s been in than I have made myself.
Just the other day, we came out of Target and she saw someone wearing a hat that she really liked. Without hesitation, she yelled, “Hey, I like your hat!” The introvert inside me wanted to say, “Raegan, don’t you know we don’t talk to people we don’t know?”
She teaches me something new every day and the one thing she consistently shows me is that life is short; who cares what people think—just speak your mind!
I mean, what is the worst thing that could happen if I just put myself out there?
Since having our sweet and sometimes “too outgoing” little girl, we’ve been blessed with the male version of her. OY! He is such a sweet, caring little boy. He also meets no strangers and doesn’t think twice before talking to someone he’s never met. People will stop us in the grocery store just to talk to him, which in turn forces me to include myself in their conversation. (Cue hives.)
I think God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with two kids who are my social opposite.
It is forcing me to finally come out of my shell and I have to say, it’s not as horrible as I thought it would be.
So, here’s to all you introverted mamas just trying to live a normal life without feeling like we need to crawl in a shell. Kids change our lives in so many ways and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for these sweet little souls I’ve created.
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