Kids Motherhood

Motherhood Is Lonely

Motherhood Is Lonely
Written by Annie Henriksen

When you become a new mom, there are things that you just expect.  You are prepared to tackle endless amounts of dirty diapers, sleepless nights with a crying baby, and an unbreakable amount of love that you have for your child. You can read all the parenting blogs, the baby books and parenting classes.  The one thing that you can’t prepare for is the loneliness that being a mom will bring.

When my daughter was born, I was overwhelmed at the amount of love I felt for this tiny person.  I would spend hours just staring at her sleeping in my arms. I enjoyed every minute of it! The late nights spent nursing her in the dark room, just me and her.

When she was an infant, I expected the long days spending time alone with her.  Countless hours spent playing patty cake, long walks, and those infectious giggles. It was not until she was older – I realized that being a mom is lonely!

I spend my days with a toddler that has a vocabulary of less than ten words. I spend my day asking, “Where is Daniel Tiger?”  “What did we do today?” “Yes, we will play with the bubbles again.”   

As a mom you spend a lot of time alone. Yes, you may have a house full of kids and it’s never quiet. However, as an adult you are alone. My husband works long hours to allow me to stay at home with my daughter, which I am grateful for. However, this means I eat a lot of dinners at the ‘kids table’ with my daughter,  afternoons filled with watching her play at the park, and evenings dodging splashes at bath time.

You can have the best support system in the world, the amazing spouse who surprises you with flowers after a hard week and the great well behaved children.  And yet – those days can still get long.

This is one part of parenting that no one talks about. We all show up to dance class with smiles on our faces yet we aren’t honest with other moms about how lonely we are.  We never share the dark side of our long days with our spouses.

Let’s face it – we all have our good days in parenting and our bad.  However, as moms we spend a lot of time alone, and it can be lonely as a mom.

About the author

Annie Henriksen

Annie Henriksen lives in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. She married her college sweetheart in an outdoor ceremony in thirty degree weather, just to keep things interesting. After a career in non-profit she was promoted to Stay-At-Home of her three year old daughter and one year old baby boy. She has a fresh perspective on parenting as a first time mom of an active toddler and one year old! She understands that every day as a parents will not be easy, but it’s about the laughter that fills the home that makes it worth it.

She believes family comes first on all fronts, and every day has its own challenges but you have to take them on one at a time.

1 Comment

  • You are so right. For a long time after my daughter was born, I honestly didn’t even WANT to spend time away with her. But it adds up and suddenly it’s like you wake up and wonder where your connections are!