Our fall favorites are here! 🍂

Going back to school is such a stressful time for everyone. It’s exciting, but it also causes so many mixed emotions and feelings of uncertainty.

I know when my kids start the year, we’re going to repeatedly be fighting about waking up in the morning, homework, chores, and rushing around like lunatics to get to whatever activities are on the schedule that afternoon. There is barely any time for deep discussions, and even when there is time, my children would never sit long enough to listen to me give them insight on anything. But there are a few phrases I am going to make sure to slip in here and there as we all dive back into the chaos that the next ten months will throw at us. If I can get these statements across enough and in the right instances, at least my daughter and sons will have some valuable tools to take out whenever they might need a little guidance and I’m not there to offer my advice. Out of all the hundreds of things I would like to tell them, I’ll be content with them hearing and living according to these five:

1) Even when it doesn’t seem like it, most of the grown-ups you encounter are on your team. They want you to succeed. As a kid, sometimes it seems as though it’s the little guys versus the grown-ups. They’re worlds apart and just cannot relate to one another on many levels. But I want my kids to understand that almost every adult they encounter in school, sports, religious situations, and any other extracurricular activity chose that role in life because they want to help and encourage young people. Even when it seems like they’re fighting against you, use at least one ear to listen and consider what he or she says as a voice of reason that is there to make you a more successful and productive human being. There is something valuable to be learned from every situation. Find the importance and wisdom in these lessons even if it seems like you cannot relate, you disagree, or even if you’re just completely uninterested.

2)  You are already enough. Don’t waste your valuable time and energy trying to be like anyone else. Stay true to your core beliefs and do not change to try to fit in anywhere. Don’t say things that make you uncomfortable, wear anything that doesn’t fit your personality and style, or do what another person is doing if it does not come naturally or feel right. Confidence in who you are will attract the people who will stick with you through the long haul and won’t turn their back on you when someone “more exciting” comes along. Don’t seek out friends who can make you more popular, find the friends who make you feel more complete, accepted and understood.

3) Everyone is struggling in his/her own way. Be kind. Be empathetic. My kids have known about empathy since they were little. A person is never too young to understand that we are all connected in some way, we just need to seek out that connection to better understand one another. I tell them to look at a person in a certain situation and put yourself there before you react. Don’t forget about the boy or girl sitting alone because one day that might be you, and you’ll pray someone compassionate comes over. Pick someone to be your partner in gym who might not otherwise get chosen. Ask someone to your party who doesn’t usually get invited to parties. Sit by the person in the lunchroom who is at his/her own table. Be the person who helps and connects with others. That person always wins.

4) I am always proud of you, even when I don’t like a choice you’ve made or the way you’ve behaved. Just because I am yelling or lecturing; even if I tell you I need some space and time for myself; even if I sigh heavily in repitition or even if I cry from frustration, it is only a moment, and my love for you is so, so much bigger than a reaction to any one instance or series of instances. Know, in whatever tough scenario with which we are presented, I believe in you and know you are a wonderful soul. You are growing and learning, and I understand that, even when it seems like I do not. I am your biggest fan through it all.

5) Tomorrow, things will be better. Almost always, the following day is better. When we are in pain, feeling miserable, lost, or like we have failed, it seems like time is standing still. But time is always a flowing, moving, wave of change, and what it presents one day or week or even month is not indicitive of how your life will be. I promise it will get better. I will help you work to make it better. Together, we will get past whatever it is that is troubling you.

I know that often when I speak about these topics to my kids, I’ll be responded to with eye rolls, looks of pain and desperation, and an overall expression of disgust. But I also know it’s more effective than not saying anything at all. Maybe, just maybe they’ll keep all the information in their back pocket and take it out whenever they feel like they need some advice and no one else is around to intervene with some words of wisdom.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Danielle Silverstein

Danielle is a stay-at-home mom of three awesome kids and two rescue dogs. My blog, Where The Eff Is My Handbook, is meant to keep moms laughing and feeling supported along this crazy journey.

To The Mother Who Is Overwhelmed

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Tired woman with coffee sitting at table

I have this one head. It is a normal sized head. It didn’t get bigger because I had children. Just like I didn’t grow an extra arm with the birth of each child. I mean, while that would be nice, it’s just not the case. We keep our one self. And the children we add on each add on to our weight in this life. And the head didn’t grow more heads because we become a wife to someone. Or a boss to someone. We carry the weight of motherhood. The decisions we must make each day—fight the shorts battle...

Keep Reading

To the Mother of My Son’s Future Wife

In: Grown Children, Inspiration, Kids, Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships
marriage, wife, husband, grown children, www.herviewfromhome.com

To the mother of my son’s future wife, I’m in the midst of dirty diapers and temper tantrums, but I do have days where I think about the future and what it will look like for my son. I wonder who he will be, what he will do and probably most of all, who he will love. I wonder about the type of woman he will bring home to meet us one day. I have my own thoughts on the type of person I wish my son would fall in love with, but we all know that the heart wants...

Keep Reading

Trading Fleeting Moments of Fame for Unshakeable Faith

In: Faith, Inspiration, Relationships
Trading Fleeting Moments of Fame for Unshakeable Faith www.herviewfromhome.com

The string quartet began playing Pachelbel, as my dad and I took our first steps down the aisle. I began to lose my composure as we proceeded to the altar. Hundreds of guests had their eyes on me as tears streamed down my face. Struggling to look my future in the eyes, I looked to the ground for reprieve. God, everything around me looks perfect, so why doesn’t this feel right? I’m not sure how I got here. The flame once dancing inside of me, has extinguished. Lord, I need you. Dad squeezed my hand gently, “Are you OK sweetie?”...

Keep Reading

Children Don’t Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger

In: Inspiration, Mental Health, Motherhood
Children Don't Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger www.herviewfromhome.com

“This too shall pass.” As mothers, we cling to these words as we desperately hope to make it past whichever parenting stage currently holds us in its clutches. In the thick of newborn motherhood, through night wakings, constant nursing and finding our place in an unfamiliar world, we long for a future filled with more sleep and less crying. We can’t imagine any child or time being more difficult than right now. Then, a toddler bursts forth, a tornado of energy destroying everything in his wake. We hold our breath as he tests every possible limit and every inch of...

Keep Reading

This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere

In: Inspiration, Kids, School, Teen
This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere www.herviewfromhome.com

When Paula and Kevin Burckard’s third child was born, she arrived with a little something extra the North Dakota couple never saw coming.  Newborn Grace had Down syndrome, and the diagnosis initially left the young parents devastated. “When Grace was born, I thought all my dreams for my daughter had basically been dashed,” Paula said.  But it didn’t take long for those fears to subside.  As Grace grew, not only did she meet and surpass milestones, her infectious joy, inspirational grit, and deep love of all things Michael Jackson transformed the family—and countless hearts. The Burckhards went on to adopt...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, When I Forget What It’s Like To Be Little

In: Child, Inspiration, Kids, Motherhood
Hey Mom, Don't Forget—You Were a Kid Once, Too www.herviewfromhome.com

The kids were squealing in the backseat. For the five minutes prior they were begging me to spill the beans on where we were going as I had only told them to get their shoes, get in the car and buckle up. It’s one of the ways I’ve learned to make a simple trip out of the house one that is a mysterious adventure to them. As we took left and right turns away from our house, they were trying to guess where we were going . . . and when we finally pulled up to a brand new playground...

Keep Reading

My Children Deserve To See the Whole Me, Not Just the Mom Me

In: Inspiration, Journal, Motherhood
My Children Deserve To See the Whole Me, Not Just the Mom Me www.herviewfromhome.com

Before I was a mother, I was a human being. A human being with life experiences, passions, fears, talents, hobbies, goals, friends and aspirations that I cherished and tried to honor. Even though I went through a variety of seasons of life . . . from school-age days, to working adult, to wife . . . those things always stayed with me. I stayed open to evolving, but never let go of who I inherently was. Then came motherhood. And suddenly I found myself abandoning my commitment to remain true to me, and leaving any semblance of myself in the...

Keep Reading

My Mother-in-Law’s Legacy: Simplicity

In: Inspiration, Journal
My Mother-in-Law's Legacy: Simplicity www.herviewfromhome.com

The memories of my mother-in-law spilled to the forefront of my mind, just as the contents of his jacket pocket fell onto our dresser. It was Proverbs 31, written on hotel stationery, in my neatest block print. Holding the small papers in my hand brought me right back to her graveside, on a hot summer morning, seven years ago. “Her children arise and call her blessed.” (verse 28) As my second daughter gave a mighty kick from the womb, visible to every mourner present that day, I couldn’t help but to allow my mind to wander. Were my values apparent...

Keep Reading

A Car Accident Left My Teenager Paralyzed—and Incredibly Fierce

In: Inspiration, Journal
A Car Accident Left My Teenager Paralyzed—and Incredibly Fierce www.herviewfromhome.com

I drove back from my son’s college concert near midnight. Exhausted, I glanced at my 14-year-old daughter, Beth, asleep in the passenger seat. We were only 10 minutes from home. I thought I could make it until I heard a road sign flatten on concrete. As the car flipped three times across a bare Ohio field, we left behind an ordinary life. I escaped with cuts, bruises, and blood-matted hair. Beth was another story. The car was cut open and a helicopter rushed her to Toledo. A doctor told my husband John that she was paralyzed. When John broke the news...

Keep Reading

Dear Mama, You’re Allowed To Not Be There

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Dear Mama, You're Allowed To Not Be There www.herviewfromhome.com

Friday afternoon was not much crazier than most afternoons. My husband was mowing the lawn, my daughter was hangry and my youngest son was due to be in a talent show in twenty minutes. I stood in the kitchen—where it seemed like I’d been for an hour—trying to motivate my family to eat dinner and get ready to go. “Get dressed, Jude. Make sure you eat something.” “Dean, do you want a slice of pizza before we leave?” I screamed over the lawn mower. “Maeve, are you going to the optional soccer practice or the talent show? You need to...

Keep Reading