I don’t remember if our house was big or small or if we rented or owned.
I don’t remember if you had a fancy car or if we had to take the bus.
I don’t remember if the house was clean and tidy or if it was covered in washing piles and scattered toys.
I don’t remember if my pram was new or secondhand or if I had the latest new toy or designer clothes.
I don’t remember if you were dressed up or if your face was bare, it always looked perfect to me.
I don’t remember if you had a lot of money or whether you lived paycheck to paycheck.
I don’t remember if we went out every day or went on expensive holidays.
I don’t remember how sometimes you got angry or cried or had to walk out of the room to take a breath.
I don’t remember a schedule, a checklist or any expectations other than just you.
What I do remember is feeling safe.
I remember your comfort and how you kept me warm.
I remember your face above me when I cried for you.
I remember you would feed me when I was hungry, or tired or in pain.
I remember your smell and how it would send me off to sleep, sometimes at 2 a.m., then again at 4 a.m.
I remember your smile; it was the first reason I smiled.
I remember how you played with me and got down on the ground with me before I could get up.
I remember you taught me about love before anything else and how it was my constant.
I remember knowing it was the only thing I ever really needed and you gave that to me, I never had to work for it, I relaxed in it.
Thank you for teaching me that love has no limits, that it’s unconditional and honest.
This is what I will remember, Mama.
Thank you for giving me the best memories of all.
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