A Gift for Mom! 🤍

To my son, you’ll never know I cried today as you walked away.

Today is your 16th birthday.

From the day you were born and even before that, I have loved you and cared for you and been the one to hold you and soothe you when you were little.

And today I just dropped you off at basketball practice for probably the very last time. Tomorrow, you will get your license and gain your freedom to go out into this wonderful world without me, and hopefully make it better as I pray I have raised you to do.

RELATED: Dear Son: I’ve Loved Every Stage With You and I’m Never Ready to Say Goodbye

But you’ll probably never know I cried as you walked away today.

My heart was happy to see the young man you have grown to be. But a part of my heart broke as you walked away because I know I won’t have that time with you anymore. Those few seconds on the road together will be few and far between. I loved our chats as we would drive to and from practice. I loved the way you giggled at me when I sang along with the radio. I smiled inside when you rolled your eyes at me because your music was inappropriate and not meant for your mama’s ears. I loved when we turned the music up and jammed to what I called the “good” songs and you referred to as “oldies.” And that smile, that smile you flashed me when you made a mistake practicing driving, is something I will hold in my heart forever.

But most of all, I am going to miss all of those little, tiny moments where you opened up and talk to me in the car. It was just you and me. No siblings, no life, no homework, no phones going off, no world around us, it was just us. Just us discussing your day, your friends, the good and bad of the world, or simply just a quick, “It was a good day, Mom.” I will forever cherish those moments. They are some of my favorites.

RELATED: He’s Almost a Man But My Son Still Needs Me

So, today I cried as you walked away from my car knowing tomorrow you would get that small bit of freedom you so desperately have been waiting for, and I have unsuccessfully tried to hold onto.

Dear God, please keep him safe and watch over him.

Watch over his siblings and friends who will be riding with him and always bring him home to me.

Son, always know I will be waiting for you to return and praying while you are gone. You are my whole world, and I can’t wait for you to see what this wonderful world has waiting for you. I will always cherish and miss that little boy, strapped into his car seat, eating Teddy Grahams, and singing the songs I once approved of. 

RELATED: My Heart Was Waiting For a Son

So yes, I cried today as you walked away from my car, but I know you are walking into so many wonderful things that I can’t wait for you to experience. Happy birthday my dear child.

(And don’t forget to ask your mom to go for a drive every once in a while. You will make her day!)

Previously published on the author’s blog

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Gina Marie Bonifas

I am a wife and mother of four boys. Our world is usually loud and filled with dirt and a bit chaotic, but in every moment we try to find the joy, the beauty, and the memories. This is our story!   https://beginningofabeautifulworld.blogspot.com/

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teenager on phone

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

When “What’s Next?” Starts to Feel Like a Test

In: Teen
Teen girl studying at desk

They were sitting side by side, comparing what came next. One was finishing her senior year of high school, talking about the college she had chosen. The other was a year or two ahead—already working full-time in her field after taking a less traditional path to get there. “I don’t know,” the younger one said. “I just feel like I have to explain my decision more than everyone else.” The other nodded. “I remember feeling that way… I still do sometimes.” They smiled a little—but not because it was funny. Because they both knew exactly what the other meant. They...

Keep Reading

The Bittersweet Gift of One Last Summer at Home

In: Teen
Family of five smiling

There is a strange kind of grief that comes with watching your children become exactly who you prayed they would become. They are growing, working, signing leases, and slowly becoming people who do not need you in all the same ways anymore. And as a mom, you are so proud. But if you are honest, it hurts too. Because the very things you prayed for, like independence, confidence, opportunity, and maturity, are also the things that carry them farther from your kitchen table. This summer, two of my college daughters are home. The house is fuller again. There are shoes...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, You Are Strong and Brave and Capable

In: Teen, Tween
Tween girl side view

Middle school you is becoming self-conscious. That’s normal, we knew this would happen. Honestly, I am impressed it took this long; your self-confidence has always been impressive.  What is surprising to me is that you internalized this new perspective as a sign that you are not a brave girl. When I think of bravery, I don’t just think of knights in shining armour rushing off to find a dragon. Instead, I see you at 18 months at the top of a slide. You chew on your thumb nervously as you stand on top of that playground structure. You stare down...

Keep Reading

Soon There Will Be No More Breakfasts To Make

In: Grown Children, Motherhood, Teen
Ten boy eating breakfast at kitchen counter

T-minus 44 days until a new beginning- Math has never been my strong suit or my favorite subject, but it will be about 19 years spent rising and trying to shine in our house. Nineteen years of prepping one, two, or all three of our sons to get up and ready for school. Nineteen years of making breakfast. Nineteen years of making lunches. For those of you in the thick of it right now, you know exactly what I mean. I think my husband Steve and I have it down to a science now. If we had to do it...

Keep Reading

She’s 13 and Figuring Life Out

In: Teen
Young teen girl smiling lying face down on grass

We’re in the teen years now. The years that were always way off in the future. Those times that seemed like decades away, that other parents were dealing with. Seasoned parents who knew what they were doing. And I would too, once I got there. If I’d been a parent long enough to have a 13-year-old, I must be experienced enough to understand it, right? It didn’t take quite as long as I’d thought to arrive here. Newborn struggles and sleepless nights seemed like they’d go on forever, but then she learned to walk and talk, went to school, and...

Keep Reading

One Day I’ll Miss These Drives To and From School

In: Teen
High school student walking in to front doors, photo from car

I am at the school for the third or fourth time today. I have honestly lost track of how many times I’ve made the drive to the high school. As a first-time high school mom, every day feels new. I watch my child hop out of the car, say “I love you,” give me a little wave, and walk into that building. Some days I do not see him again for 12 or 13 hours, and he is loving every minute of the activities, the friends, and the high school experience. I cannot help but feel proud, excited, and heartbroken...

Keep Reading

The Little Girl I Knew Is Becoming a Young Woman

In: Teen
Tween girl smiling and standing in staircase

I didn’t realize becoming a teenager would be such a huge step in her life. Now, as we approach another year, I find myself looking back in awe. The last year brought so much growth for my firstborn. I wonder if she even realized it. Her independence has flourished, and her desires continue to shift for the better. She still needs me, but more from the sidelines now. She looks for reassurance, guidance, and a steady presence rather than constant hands-on help. It’s that tender stage where being “little” is still missed, yet growing up brings a new kind of...

Keep Reading

We Delayed Giving Our Teen a Phone; It Was Worth It

In: Kids, Teen, Tween
Teen with phone sitting on swing

We made a decision early on not to give our kids phones or smart watches when most of their friends got them. By ages 10 or 11, nearly everyone else had group chats, direct access to friends, and constant digital connection. Our kids did not. That choice came with a cost, especially for me. When I would reach out to other parents about plans, the response was often, “Have him text so-and-so.” Except he couldn’t. And then I would see photos of groups of kids hanging out, sometimes including his friends, and he wasn’t there. I began to wonder what...

Keep Reading

Time Is All We Have with our Kids

In: Motherhood, Teen
Photographer taking a photo of a teen boy outside

A few weeks ago, I made a mistake no mother of a teenage driver wants to make: I watched from the window as my son drove away without his cell phone. He was halfway down the road, carefree and oblivious to my panic, when I realized my favorite tracking app was useless. In a split second, I realized the control I thought I had was gone. In an attempt to calm myself, I remembered two things: 1. He was a good driver; and 2. He was just going to the gas station. While debating whether to jump in the car...

Keep Reading