They say a mother’s love is unconditional. That’s what they say at least.
But my mother’s love, if you’ll even call it that, comes at a price. Hers comes with terms and conditions that she can change at any time like those scammy timeshares you see online.
My mother’s love is full of manipulation and control. If I dare to even question it, I am an ungrateful person. She then gaslights the situation, blaming me for any problems. She sees no problem or acknowledges any fault in anything.
Everyone she sees outside of the home will tell you she’s the best person, but they don’t know the real her she reserves for her family.
My children are even fair game. She will attempt to parent them and control them how she sees fit. She thrives off shaming and boasting about all she does for me, even if I didn’t ask for help or need it. Her giving is thrust upon me.
When I finally do stand up to her and try to establish boundaries, those boundaries are met as obscene demands, and the hurtful words come out to play.
I think somewhere deep down she has love somewhere. I hope anyway.
But for now, I’ll just have to love her, if I even can, from afar. Because this is not what a mother’s love should be.