Let me start by saying, this post is for me.
I wanted to wrap our first child in bubble wrap. Or at least make sure all potential dangers were kept at a manageable, safe distance away.
No kissing his baby face to prevent the spread of germs. No taking him out into public until I felt confident and capable.
Along with typical new parenting what-ifs, postpartum anxiety stole my peace and clouded my judgment and took me to my doctor to get clinical help.
Yet, three more babies later, I’m starting to believe those early years weren’t really the most fragile. I’ve discovered our children are becoming even more vulnerable as they age.
Tonight, as I hugged my 9- and 10-year-old big boys before bed, I wanted so badly to turn the clock back to those early years when we simply rolled a ball across the floor to play and pass the time.
Because now, I’m finding myself inserting random warnings about considering consequences and not following the crowd.
Because now, I’m seeing them grow into little men who are starting to take longer strides, farther away from me.
And I just want them to be safe. And I want them to be brave. I want them to be ready.
Although, I’m not sure I’ll ever truly be ready for them to take the car keys and drive away or start that first job and begin living most of their days without me right by their side.
Of course, I’ll always be close at heart, but the proximity will change. And I so desperately want them to choose the right way and avoid the mistakes I’ve made.
Lord, grow them in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. Surround them with people of integrity and good friends. Reveal Your path and plan for them. Affirm their worth and bless the work of their hands.
Because I know I can’t protect them with bubble wrap as they go, but I can trust God will go with them.
Lord, help me not to worry.
I trust God. He has been so faithful.
I trust you, Lord. You are good. I see Your glory all over their faces. You somehow love them even more than I do.
And that is the comfort I want to take with me as we anticipate the next chapters and new seasons ahead.
It’s a love that grows as they do.
A mother’s prayers will never end.