I’m the new mom at the park.

I woke up this morning with a goal in mind: to visit the park with my daughter. I looked in the mirror and whispered, “I’ve got this” as my 3-month-old slept peacefully. This little house has been a great shelter for this new mom and her baby, but it’s time to venture out. 

I’m the new mom at the park.

With the stroller filled with way too many things for a 30-minute trip.

With the perfectly picked out outfit, hoping to fit in.

With the tired eyes and dark circles from waking up three times last night. 

With the frizzy, postpartum hair.

With the curious baby gazing at the rustling leaves. 

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I’m the new mom at the park, apprehensively trying to scope out a flat, grassy area for my baby and me to sit. 

To my surprise, I find there aren’t any flat surfaces where moms congregate. So it’s either sit further away or on the hill. The hill it is. 

My daughter doesn’t seem to mind.

She rolls onto her tummy and watches the toddlers swing away their mornings with bubbly smiles. 

My eye catches moms grouped in pairs—the regulars, discussing inside jokes, weekend plans, and their little ones’ latest developments. The moms glance up toward me as I balance my baby on the hill, making me keenly aware I’m the new mom at the park. 

In the distance, I think I see a woman who I met while walking in the park last week, so I pack up everything and move to the other side of the park.

“Michelle?” She turns around, rightfully confused, and I quickly realize that she, in fact, isn’t Michelle. 

I’m the new mom at the park.

“Waaa, waa!” my daughter asks for my attention. Fifteen minutes until nap time. Five minutes to pack up. I’m racing the clock like an Olympic runner. 

I’m the new mom at the park. But someday I won’t be. 

Someday, I’ll meet my mom friends at the park. I’ll be holding my toddler’s hand with a Diet Coke in another hand. 

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Someday, I’ll be a regular. My mom friends and I will greet each other with friendly smiles.

Someday, I’ll glance up at a new mom sitting on the hill, and I’ll walk over to say hi to the new mom at the park.