So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

The love affair I have with my yoga pants rivals that of my addiction to carbs. Hence, the desire to spend my life in my yoga pants. I have five of the exact same pair of britches. I’m in love with everything about them. Their black as night coloring that hides the imperfections that having two kids brought upon my body. The stretchy fabric that gives way no matter the time of month, or how much macaroni and cheese I eat. The extra high waist of my beloved yoga pants ensures that when I sit down on the floor with my toddlers at the library for story time, I don’t have to worry about my derriere peaking out like the jeans that always betray me.

I love that I can wear my yoga pants anywhere, and it’s socially acceptable. I’ve been known to sport my favorite attire to coffee shops with clients, browsing the windows at the mall, even dinner out with my family. Oh yes, I do love my yoga pants.

Purchased at one of my favorite stores (Target), I’m dressed in my workout leggings as I shop for the staples at said establishment: bread, cheese, milk and more yoga pants. There was a time in my life when my children were ages newborn and infant, (if only I was kidding), that I spent days in the same pair of my dear pants because I was so delirious from sleep I couldn’t tell you what day it was, much less how long I had been wearing that particular pair.

This love affair between yoga pants and I has been going on for quite some time. All my friends know about it, some have had somewhat of an intervention trying to convince me that there are other fabrics and garb which can adorn my legs. I don’t listen though, my yoga pants have never let me down.

Until today.

Reading an article on the Today Show website states wearing yoga pants is not good for my health. Say it ain’t so Hoda and Kathy! The article lists seven reasons why my beloved workout leggings are bad for me. Dermatologists and experts say I can get jock-itch, butt acne and follicultis. (I agree, I’m pretty sure they made that last one up too.)

The article goes on to say that it’s okay to wear these ‘workout clothes’ for the purposes of working out, but beyond that their use should be limited. Yes, the experts are telling me to cool it off with my affection. Apparently, after all these years, my pants were failing me. The material doesn’t drain sweat properly leading to infections or something, I don’t know I couldn’t read the article through my tears.

What I did manage to read is it’s okay to wear them if you don’t sweat. I see, so I can only have an October May romance with my beloved. It’s summer, I live in Florida, just walking from the front door to the car starts a pool of sweat in places in my body we don’t need to discuss. And that’s in a bathing suit and cover-up!

I’m taking a stand against the experts—a stand in my yoga pants. Nothing and no one comes between me and my yoga pants. You can’t separate us. Mostly because the sweat has made me one with my pants. In all the years I’ve worn my beloved britches I have yet to suffer from jock-itch, acne butt or any other demise the experts say old faithful will bring me.

Taking my chances, pants don’t fail me now.

Kimberly Patterson

Kimberly Patterson is a writer, wife and mother of two adorable, over-zealous toddlers. She spends her days in yoga pants, pecking away at the keys on her laptop and pulling her kids off of whatever household furniture they climb upon. She has been published on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Her View From Home, The Mighty, and several other publications. Read more of her insights at truthisinthewriting.com.

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