A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Back when I was in grad school, I’d get this weird feeling whenever I was under a considerable amount of stress. It felt like I’d swallowed a chunk of peanut butter and it had gotten lodged in my throat. I felt pressure in my chest and had trouble taking adequate breaths. It would last for days or weeks, depending, but was annoying more than it was physically concerning. Eventually, I figured out it was reflux, a common reaction to stress. I figured out how to manage it and I eventually graduated, which cured it entirely.

But it has recently started coming back. Kids, work . . . this darn election cycle. I’ve started to notice every time I watch a debate or another round of Tuesday primary results, I’d get that peanut-butter-stuck-in-my-throat sensation. My brother’s wedding is quickly approaching, involving a cross-country family trip with plenty of packing, planning, and logistics.

Peanut butter in my throat.

My husband’s car required an unexpected, pricey repair last week. A BIRD broke into our house the same week, hijacking our busy night’s plans. And now, international terrorist attacks and dear family members living in Europe. Peanut butter in my throat.

Cut to a recent rainy Sunday morning, when I was sidelined with a sinus/allergy thing (OK, and a touch of daylight savings), leaving me home for a rare two hours in a quiet house while my husband and kids went to church without me. I watched the Sunday morning political shows, hoping for reason, logic, or an explanation of our country’s state of affairs. I searched Pinterest for budgeting ideas to help take control of our finances. I searched every retail site known to man for the right dress to wear to my brother’s wedding. And in my quiet house, on a peaceful Sunday morning, I still had peanut butter in my throat.

And then it occurred to me, taking so much longer than it should have, that I was missing my opportunity.

Not only was I missing church, but I wasn’t using these unusual hours of quiet to open up my Bible, pray, reflect, or journal. I always complain I don’t have enough time to do so, and here I was, spending this sacred time doing everything I could to feel like I was in control of my life. (Did you catch all of those I’s?)

So I reached for my devotional to gain a sense of direction in my Bible and one of the opening sentences read, “Trouble and distress are woven into the very fabric of this perishing world.” The grounding scripture was John 16:22, paraphrased, “Rest in My Presence, receiving joy no one can take away from you.” 

The reading was short but I was overwhelmed with the clarity of the message, how implicit it was in that exact moment of my helplessness. “No one will take away your joy” echoed and reverberated in my head and in my heart. That was not what was happening in my life as I watched the chaos in our world, and I needed the blunt reminder:

Politics will not steal my joy.

Terrorists will not steal my joy.

Calendars will not steal my joy.

Bank statements will not steal my joy.

The nightly news will not steal my joy.

No one will steal my joy.

My own little happy ending? I found a dress for the wedding this week. I bought it at Macy’s, where a Muslim woman in a headscarf rang my purchase, and an African-American saleswoman stopped by to fawn over the grinning baby in my stroller. The three of us spent a few minutes chatting about the wedding, travel, and a new grandbaby for one of the saleswomen before wishing each other well and going our separate ways. No ground-breaking racial or ethnic reconciliation, just a gentle reminder that no matter what the news says or what the candidates say, our country is not defined by hate and fear, God is still on His throne, He is still our joy.

No more peanut butter in my throat.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Kathryn Grassmeyer

Kathryn is a southern transplant, working and living in Northern Virginia with her husband Tyler and daughter Charlotte. She is soaking up life as a family of three before baby #2 arrives this summer. When she’s not blowing noses or failing at potty training, she works as a pediatric physical therapist. Blog: http://www.barefootdaydreams.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BarefootDaydreamsBlog Twitter: https://twitter.com/kategrassmeyer

I Lost My Sight at 16—But It Wasn’t the End of My Vision

In: Faith
Cross and sunset

After my father shot me, I lay in a hospital bed, and my world went dark. I was 16 years old. The injury left me completely blind. But the darkness didn’t stop there. As my physical sight disappeared, something else came into focus—the depth of the wounds I had carried long before that moment, wounds I had never fully allowed myself to see. For years, I had learned how to survive without asking too many questions. I had learned how to minimize what hurt, how to explain things away, how to keep moving forward as if everything were normal. But...

Keep Reading

Ministry Starts Inside Your Own Four Walls

In: Faith
Family around a table

When people hear the word ministry, they often think of missionaries, or the pastor who preaches every Sunday, but in our home, ministry belongs to all of us—even our kids. Growing up, I didn’t think of myself as a ministry kid. Still, when my dad packed our old Astro for the summer and we all piled in, we were on mission. Each kid had a part to play in my dad’s evangelical magic shows (yes, you read that right!). My brother would juggle, my older sister sang, my middle sister flipped the projector slides that shone pictures of Jesus on...

Keep Reading

These Holy Small Things

In: Faith, Motherhood
Children sewing at machine

My 8-year-old-daughter has recently taken up sewing, to my simultaneous delight and chagrin. My delight because I too love sewing; my chagrin because her enthusiasm often outpaces my own abilities, namely, in the undertaking of tedious projects with no pattern. Take, for example, the cloth doll diaper we designed and stitched up together. Granted, the design was fairly basic to draw up and scale. But the minuscule nature of the work, both for my hands and head, was enough to throw me into existential questioning. It was one of those moments when you wonder how the sum of your life...

Keep Reading

Life Lessons from My Grown Children

In: Faith, Motherhood
Two women's hands on teacups

“Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.” – Rabindranath Tagore Quietly communing with a loved one in the early morning hours is such an intimate and precious time. Visiting with one’s grown child when all is dark and still is one of life’s purest pleasures. I remember the conversation clearly. My daughter’s husband, small children, and father were all asleep as we whispered and chatted. She and I are both fidgeters by nature, unable to be still for long. This inner restlessness must be remedied, and we are compelled by biology to...

Keep Reading

My Prayer Is Simple Now: “I Believe; Help My Unbelief.”

In: Faith
Woman sitting by water

I have spent most of my life in faith. Not circling it or analyzing it from a distance, but inside it—learning its language before I even realized I was learning it, shaping myself around it in ways that felt as natural as breathing. I was raised in Christian Science, which is a very particular kind of faith. It’s not really about “believing” in the way most people think. It’s about understanding. Aligning your thoughts with what is ultimately true about God and reality. If you can understand rightly, you can be well. If you can see clearly, healing follows. So...

Keep Reading

Your Worth Is Not Someone Else’s To Measure

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking over canyon

Insecurity is something we all carry in one form or another. For me, it has probably always looked confident and outgoing from the outside. But internally, it can feel heavy, complicated, and exhausting at times. And when someone comes along whose behavior reinforces those insecurities, it amplifies what was already there. There was someone I had hoped to genuinely connect with, but it was clear from the start that the feeling wasn’t mutual. From the beginning, their wall was up. No matter how kind I tried to be or how carefully I showed up, it never came down. Their distance...

Keep Reading

Lord, Give Me Faith Like Hannah

In: Faith
Woman walking in field with hand in wheat

Hannah knew what it was like to feel forgotten. She often clutched her empty womb and thought Surely the Lord has forgotten me.  She knew the bitter sting of feeling isolated and alone. She knew the anguish of praying day after day after day and seeing no fruit, not even a bud, from her faithfulness. Hannah knew what it was like to feel like the weight of the world was on her, and her hope may have dwindled. Even those around her did not offer encouragement. Quite the opposite—they did their best to sow seeds of discouragement. Yet Hannah pressed...

Keep Reading

God Carries Me Through the Deep Waters of Change

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman at the beach as waves come in

“Ahhh!” My underwater scream garbled in my snorkel tube as the manta ray’s cavernous mouth swept a hand’s distance from my face. My fingers tightened around the surfboard until my knuckles ached. My arms trembled. I jerked my head side to side, searching for my daughters, Mia and Megan. Recent college graduates, they had joined me on one last mother-daughter vacation before launching their adult lives. They floated easily on the vibrant Hawaiian water, relaxed, trusting. I wanted to borrow their calm. Earlier, our guide had explained that the LED lights built into the surfboard attracted plankton the way college...

Keep Reading

Faith After a Rare Disease Diagnosis

In: Faith, Motherhood
Family smiling in posed photo

My pastor frequently speaks of “kid pain” and acknowledges there’s nothing like it. I can testify to that. After nine months of uncertainty and unexplained issues following the birth of our now 4-year-old daughter, Harlow, we finally received her diagnosis of Pyruvate Dehydrogenase Complex Deficiency (PDCD), a life-limiting mitochondrial disease with no cure and no FDA-approved treatments. It was heartbreaking. In moments like these, a parent can fall into complete desperation. You go through a range of emotions almost too fast to name: fear for your child’s life; anxiousness about how much time you’ll get with them; overwhelming grief. And...

Keep Reading

What If I Don’t Hear God’s Voice?

In: Faith
Woman with folded hands looking up

There have been many times over the years when I’ve heard others share stories of how the Lord spoke to them or gave them a sign. Seashells scattered along a sandy beach, numbered to represent how many children they would have. A quiet walk in the park, followed by a clear sense that another little one was coming. What a blessing, I think, when I hear and read their stories. I often wonder how much more faith they must have than I do—to know with such certainty that what they heard was truly God speaking. I listen, I smile, and...

Keep Reading