“A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.” ~Billy Graham
I have started to notice an epidemic going on. It started way back with The Flintstones, where dads and husbands were stupid and just-one-of-the-boys. It’s since progressed to Facebook jokes, Homer on The Simpsons, or and the infamous relationship of Debra and Raymond on Everybody Loves Raymond.
I don’t know about you but I’m tired of the media portraying men especially husbands and dads as incompetent, lazy, childish, and useless. Have you ever thought about what this is teaching our children?
I’m raising 5 kids. I don’t want any of them growing up to think that being a dad is unimportant, that their wives will wait on them hand and foot, or that they can act stupid to get out of being a good husband or dad. I also don’t want my kids to think that men are wimpy, dumb, and can lie to get what they want or get out of having to be responsible. I don’t want my daughter to settle for a weak, childish, boy because that is what she has seen on television.
Luckily, the media is not raising the children at my house and hopefully not at yours, either. However, the media is very influential and we all need to intentionally parent our kids, showing them love and respect so they grow up knowing what that is!
It is important to respect the men we love. Here’s a great way to show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
R- Recognize that dads do things differently than moms.
Men and women are different. Dads kiss boo-boos differently, deal with sibling arguments differently, feed kids “dad food”, dress the children differently than mom, and change diapers differently than mom does. Dads tend to rough house more than moms do. Each time that he does something differently than you gives your child an opportunity to experience something new or different. And that is ok (and sometimes it’s better than mom does, if we allow it to happen).
E- Encourage your husband.
Let your husband know what a blessing he is to your family. Write him sweet notes and texts letting him know what a great dad and husband he is. Be his cheerleader! There are many grown boys in the world but there is only one man that you chose to be your husband and father of your children. He’s special, don’t let him forget that.
S- Speak kind words.
Don’t complain about your husband to others. It’s rude and hurtful. It’s also harmful to your marriage. If you wouldn’t want someone to say those things about you in front of your children, you shouldn’t do it about your husband, either.
If you struggle with respect or have a difficult relationship, pray about it. If you need help getting started, you are welcome to check out my short series, 31 Days Of Scripture to Pray For Your Husband.
E- Embrace his unique qualities!
My father-in-law and my husband both like to joke with the kids. The kids love being silly with them! Each dad has his own fun qualities that make him special. Embrace those qualities, chances are you love those characteristics as well!
Most arguments happen because there is a misunderstanding. By communicating your expectations clearly you can avoid silly arguments, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. Have you learned your spouse’s love language (gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service or physical touch)? When you communicate in your spouse’s love language magical things can happen in your relationship!
T- Teach others how to be respectful by modeling it every day.
Children learn by what they see, not what they are told to do. Let your kids know that their father works hard to support your family and they are so lucky because he is the best. Don’t encourage your friends bashing their spouses. Be a marriage builder.