It caught me completely off-guard when my husband casually mentioned one day that it had been a while since I had written him a love note.
Honestly, I was taken aback because I felt pretty certain I was already doing enough every single day caring for our house and kids while he was at work.
We’ve been together for 10 years this June, and we happen to be in the very thick of raising kids. Our five kids keep us hopping all day long with their escapades and unlimited neediness. Not to mention, the littlest ones still keep us up and down most nights too.
There’s really not a whole lot of time to just focus on us and a lot of times it was beginning to feel like we were pouring into each other from very empty cups.
Of course, we both knew we still loved each other, we were just really busy and even more exhausted because the daily grind can get to anyone, right?
How could I become so negligent though? I remember how three kids back, I created little posters to hang on the front door that announced to him as he walked in that we were having date night at home. I used to write notes all the time on napkins to put in his lunch box. I made homemade cards and wrote messages on scrap paper and left them where he’d be sure to find them.
Somewhere along the way, I started forgetting about the little things.
It had been such a long while that I didn’t even realize he still cared about that kind of stuff.
That little instance truly awakened me to be more attentive and to actually remember to pursue my husband again.
I have begun to look for ways just about every day to make him feel special because he deserves it for being here for us.
So I sat down and wrote him that overdo love note, telling him how much I love and appreciate him and how he still melts my heart with his wonderful smile and those blue, blue eyes.
Sending him random texts, keeping his favorite snacks in stock, and laying out his PJs so he doesn’t have to dig through the endless laundry piles are a few small gestures I use to show him I care so much.
We have started regularly dating each other in front of our kids. A few times a month, I’ll make the kids something simple for dinner and then order my husband and me our favorite Mexican food. Several mornings a week, we get up early enough to have coffee together before we part ways and the day gets super busy. Sometimes, we put the kids to bed a few minutes early so we can have a movie night and see where that leads . . .
It’s amazing how taking a little extra effort to nurture our marriage has made such a big difference in our relationship.
We both still have occasional off days, but we have learned that we’re not only married housemates just getting by, we’re best friends for the long haul, and I remember how much I like my husband.
We are both much happier when we take a little bit of time to check on how the other is doing and remind one another what a treasure it is to do this life together.