The Grief Always Finds Me
I lie in bed and close my eyes. I wait. I know it will find me eventually. It always does. The darkness. The grief. The emptiness. The…
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Sad
Alzheimer’s Took My Mother’s Life. A Pandemic Stole Her Funeral.
If you were only allowed to have ten people at your mother’s funeral, who would you pick? How would you decide? Could you decide at all? Imagine…
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This Sadness is Not Something I Chose
Being sad is not something I have a say in. Being sad is not something I decided on. One day, it was just there. A continuous hum, like the long,…
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Miscarriage Made Me Angry—And Stronger
I was so excited to be pregnant again after my first child. I dreamed of my babies playing together and being best friends. I started brainstorming…
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It’s Always 2PM On a Wednesday
Today is the day that broke me. The exact time was 2 p.m. But, now, isn’t it always 2 p.m.? It’s not quite time for a snack. Not time for a meal.…
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Sadness Comes To Visit
There is a knock on the door. An acquaintance of mine stopping by unannounced. Always unannounced. I open it, and she almost pushes me aside. Barging…
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Dear Dad, The Thought of Losing You Puts a Hole in My Heart
Dear Dad, This will forever be known as the year you were diagnosed with cancer. Our worlds came to a screeching halt. One minute we were planning…
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The Holidays Aren’t the Same For Someone Who is Grieving
I remember the first holiday after my mom died like it was yesterday. It was probably one of the most emotional times in my life. It was also a time…
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I’m Not Sure How Long I’ll Need an Antidepressant to Feel Normal…and That’s OK
I tried to wean off of Zoloft and couldn’t. And that’s OK. I had never really been aware of the world of antidepressants. My life has been…
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Dear Husband, Sometimes I Just Need You To Hold Me
My dear husband, You are a fixer. A good one. I love that about you. You are a top-notch problem-solver, a Handy Andy. You always have a solution for…
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