For many people, the holiday season is a cheerful and joyous time. A time they look forward to all year. However, something people often forget is that the holidays don’t always look that way for everyone.
A conversation at the dinner table came up recently with someone who doesn’t know me all that well. She couldn’t believe I didn’t like the holidays and couldn’t understand why. She couldn’t imagine everyone didn’t find this time of year as something to look forward to. Without knowing it, she made me feel the need to explain why this time of year is often difficult.
It has been many years since my mom died. It gets exhausting to have to continue to explain the loss, grief, and changes associated with that, and it doesn’t always feel like a particularly good conversation starter at the dinner table.
The holidays haven’t been the same since my mom died. Even as time passes and new traditions begin, it continues to become a time of year I often struggle.
The holidays aren’t a joyful time for everyone.
Someone is preparing for their first holiday with someone they miss very deeply.
Someone hasn’t felt the same since they lost this person.
Someone has nobody to spend the holidays with this year.
Someone feels this is the loneliest time of the year.
Someone is spending the holiday without their kids.
Someone is spending the holiday taking care of aging parents.
Someone knows this is the last holiday they are going to have with a sick family member.
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We never know what someone else is going through and we never know just how challenging something may be for someone else.
You never know why someone may be hurting this holiday season and you may never know why they don’t enjoy this time of year anymore. Be kind.