Shop the fall collection ➔

I was never really been good with kids before I had my own. I was the babysitter who ignored all the phone calls, because I didn’t want to watch the neighborhood kids. When I held babies, they cried. And I can be a little too practical and not-so-imaginative when it comes to playing kids’ games. If babies started sitting down and having deep conversations over cups of coffee, then I may have been more interested.

If anyone told me they thought I would be a great mother when I was younger, I am pretty sure they lied. My parents were in partial agreement. It wasn’t that they thought I would be a bad mother— it was just that I was not that maternal.

And then, one day that changed.

I was married the summer before my senior year of college. Upon graduation, despite my deep desire to become a mother, we decided to wait for five years, until I was a ways into my career. And yet, as fate would have it, a couple weeks later, on my second day of my first post-grad job, after weeks of nausea and exhaustion, I bought a test and silently, nervously waited and watched… Only to see that with all my recent planning, there were bigger plans to be had.

I was pregnant.

The realization that there was a tiny, fragile, beautiful little life growing inside me hadn’t entirely hit me at that point. In the beginning, the excitement intermingled with stress and sickness, and I couldn’t entirely tell which way was up. But the love and the joy was quickly building in ways that I had never imagined before. The moment that it all became real to me was after learning that he— the little life growing inside of me— was a baby boy. He was my little Lincoln.

It all sunk in.

The bond that a mother has with her child— the deep, heart warming, tears welling, could-hold-you-in-my-arms-forever bond that I saw in my mom with us— I got it.

And the day that Lincoln was born and took his first breath, squinty-eyed, all purple and ripe— it hit me like a train as I wept at how beautiful he was. How proud I was of him. How deeply I loved this tiny, fragile life. And as I held him close and whispered to him with the voice he had already heard 1000 times, he only snuggled in closer.

This little life captured my heart and completely changed me. It’s like he unlocked a part of me that I didn’t know I had. A part of me that made me more whole with more love than I ever knew I could give.

And as he ages into a less peaceful, more rambunctious, more adventurous and sweeter version of his baby self, that love only grows. As he gives me year after year of sleepless nights, mischief, and sweet kisses, my heart knows him and loves him more than the day we met.

I am the one that comforts him, the one that loves him, the one that knows him and he knows back. I am his safe zone.

And he is my joy, my little love. He is my game changer.

Lexi Behrndt

Lexi is a mom to Lincoln here and Charlie in heaven, a writer at Scribbles and Crumbs http://www.scribblesandcrumbs.com/ and The Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lexi-behrndt/, a Communications Director, and the founder of The Charlie Sawyer Project http://www.thecharliesawyerproject.com/ You can find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/scribblesandcrumbs Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexibehrndt Instagram: https://instagram.com/scribblesandcrumbs

Our Friend Steve Is Back! Get Ready for the “Blue’s Clues” Live-Action Movie

In: Kids, Living
man in a trench coat and green tie looking out door

We just got a letter, we just got a letter! Except this time, it’s even better! ’90s kids rejoice, because one of our favorite classic Nickelodeon series, Blue’s Clues, is getting a live-action makeover. Not only that, but it will also feature all three of the show’s hosts, which means our beloved Steve Burns will be returning to the screen after all this time! You may remember, Steve popping back into our lives unexpectedly last year for the 25th anniversary of the show to explain why he had departed so suddenly. He hit us all in the feels when he...

Keep Reading

Dear School Bus Driver, My Whole World Is In Your Care

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy standing on school bus stairs, color photo

To the bus driver I do not know, You don’t understand how hard it is to let go of my child’s hand in the morning and hand him over to you. You don’t know how long it took me to make this decision . . . to let him ride the bus.  Some may say it’s brave or courageous to trust another with your child’s life. I sometimes think it can be daring but also really unwise.  RELATED: Every Time I Leave My Child With Autism in the Care of Someone Else, I Worry In today’s world, we must worry...

Keep Reading

Every Time I Blinked, They Grew—and It Was So Beautiful

In: Kids, Motherhood
Boys kissing mother black and white photo

I thought we were prepared, but we weren’t. Not even close. Not in the tiniest, least little bit. When we hugged our precious, oldest boy and left him to start college just a few hours away, we didn’t know what was coming. The waves of emotion, of loss, of pride, of accomplishment. They say not to blink because your kids will grow up. But despite how much we may not want to, it’s involuntary. We have to blink. They don’t talk about this part. No one tells you what to do when you open your eyes again. RELATED: I Blinked and...

Keep Reading

I Love it When You Smile at Me

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl in wheel chair with classmates, color photo

I gained a bit of insight today. We were walking past the checkout at the store this afternoon when we came upon a mom and her children, waiting in the checkout line.   RELATED: A Simple Invitation Means the World To a Special Needs Parent My daughter Chloe rolled by them in her wheelchair. I watched, as I often do, as the children noticed her. One girl about Chloe’s age smiled at her as we walked by. As soon as we had passed them, Chloe turned to me and said . . . “She’s the first person to smile at me!”  Let me say I...

Keep Reading

It’s Okay to Say No to the Promposal

In: Kids, Teen
Boy holding pink sign saying "Prom with me?"

Promposals are cute.  But, even for the sweetest questions, it’s okay if the answer is not yes. I have more boys than girls at my house so the whole meet the boy asking your girl out with a gun posts don’t sit well with me. Boys and girls have an equally hard time negotiating friendships and relationships in high school, and I care equally for both. A young man spent some time, told his friends, made a cute sign, and planned to ask my daughter to a dance. A friend of my daughters mentioned he might ask (and even made...

Keep Reading

I Wipe the Slides

In: Kids, Motherhood
boy on slide

I want you to have the most fun possible at your tiny playground stars program, so I wipe the slides. I don’t want you to have a meltdown if your clothes get wet while I’m gone, so I wipe the slides. I want to have three precious hours of only managing your little sister, so I wipe the slides. RELATED: I’d Rather Serve My Kids Than Have Them be “Self-Sufficient” I don’t want you to feel embarrassed by a big reaction to wet clothes when I’m not there to help you, so I wipe the slides. I want you to...

Keep Reading

One Day You’ll Outgrow Being My Little Boy—But Not Today

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Mother and two sons back-to-school picture, color photo

One day you will come home after your first day of a new school year and not wish to share a single thing. Not today. Today, you got into the car and talked non-stop about every second of your day. I was delighted!  One day you will not have countless first-day forms for me to sign and return the next day. Not today. I signed my name at least four times. I was happy to grant permission for you to play sports, learn algebra, and do whatever else I gave my permission for.  One day you will not allow me...

Keep Reading

The Sports Mom Shows Up For Her Kids, No Matter What

In: Kids, Motherhood
Youth baseball game

We’re nearing the end of club baseball/softball season, and the burnout is real. The time away from home, burning through gas to get somewhere for two hours with half your house packed only to pack back up and turn around and drive to the next two-hour destination is insane. I don’t even like the sport right now. There . . . I said it. I’m so sick of softball fields and wind-blown dirt in my face. I’ve seen so many balls thrown in the last two months that my eyes hurt. But I still show up. I love to see...

Keep Reading

Having Babies and Toddlers Is Exhausting—but So, So Sweet

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood, Toddler
Family of four with baby and toddler on bed

I took the girls to one of our favorite coffee shops last week and all around me were parents of babies and toddlers. Their little ones ran about in the grassy area out back, toddling up and down the lawn, when it suddenly hit me with perfect clarity—the sun has nearly set on this season for me. It was a realization marked by internal tension, a mourning of the loss of one season contrasted by the joyful anticipation at the arrival of the next. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a tidal wave. Having five kids in...

Keep Reading

3 Common Phrases to Avoid Saying to Your Kids (and What To Say Instead)

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother sitting with young boy on couch

Learning to love yourself is hard work. I did not grow up loving myself. Instead, I always felt inadequate, and I felt the need to change myself to prove my worth.  I want more for my kids. I want my kids to know their inherent value and worth. I want to empower my kids to love and accept themselves.  My self-love journey, aided by the expertise of a counselor, has helped me realize there are some narratives from my childhood I needed to unlearn. I had to accept my emotions as helpful and not something to be pushed down. I...

Keep Reading