I never wanted to be a mother. The complete opposite of my sister, who knew very early on she wanted children, I always felt certain I would only ever be a mom to fur babies.
When I met the man with whom I would fall in love, I was upfront about my thoughts on having kids. This amazing man, who later became my husband, accepted this, even though I later learned he had always seen himself as a dad. He is older than I am, and somehow always found himself dating women who didn’t want kids. Eventually, he figured a child just wasn’t in the cards for him.
Shortly after we were married, I was sitting alone in church. I was watching the kids rushing to the front, as they did every week, to have a lesson with the pastor before heading to the nursery. Suddenly, I was crying.
I’ve heard people say God speaks to us in whispers. At that moment, I felt like He was shouting. At that moment, I literally felt my heart change.
I went home and told my husband I thought we were meant to have a baby. He started crying and pulled me into his arms.
Less than a year later, after 14 hours of labor followed by an unplanned C-section, the nurse handed me my daughter. My heart felt more full than it has ever been. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone so much.
Through all of my insistence that I didn’t want kids, through all of my fears about pregnancy and about my life never being the same, God was there. He knew me better than I knew myself. He gave me the greatest gift I never knew I wanted.