Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

Being a mom is hard. I’m not sure if this is a widely talked about subject, because everyone I see makes it look so dang easy. I don’t know about you, but sometimes it feels impossible. I am constantly wondering if what I am doing is “right” or “safe.” Constantly wondering if I am being a “good mom.” Being a mom in any day was hard I am sure, but as a young mom in 2017, I would argue it is only getting harder. I think as moms we are putting more and more pressure on ourselves to be a “good mom.” We are comparing what we see others doing to what we think we should or should not be doing. We are getting input from so many different sources regarding our parenting that it is hard to not question if you are doing it “right.”

But what really makes a good mom?

Is it the beautiful photos of your children smiling so perfectly on your Instagram? All of your picture perfect moments shared and those photos of your kids throwing spaghetti erased? The extravagant birthday party you spend your savings on, just so you can show others how great it was? Are you throwing that party for your child or for your pinterest photos? Is being a good mom making sure our kids have the cutest clothes, their hair is done right, our home decor is pinterest perfect? Are you posting photos in hopes that one of them has a shot at getting as much attention as some of the other photos moms with thousands of followers are posting? Do you spank your child? Do you vaccinate? Do you use the word no? Do you let your child self sooth? Do you co-sleep? The list goes on and on. Everybody has an opinion and you will get a different one everywhere you look. You might be judged because your opinion and parenting style differs from someone around you. When you post a photo of your child doing something, you have a 50% chance someone is going to comment negatively on it. Pinterest, blogs, Instagram, etc… Social Media everywhere has raised the expectations of what makes a “good mom.” Do you ever see the messy home photos? The dirty laundry on the bed photographed? The child covered in food screaming on someone’s Instagram? No, you only see the good. I have had a couple people (that I don’t know, and that don’t know me) tell us how perfect our lives are, and there are times when I want to say, “If you only knew our story…” Everyone has a story, and everyone has moments during the day we would never want photographed. Don’t let our photos of Carter smiling fool you, he is generally a very happy baby but we have meltdowns, fits, and moments of complete despair also. 

Matt usually will give him his dinner food (if he gets home in time from work to see him before I put him down), and this night he happened to be cranky. If Matt wouldn’t spoon the food immediately, despair would happen. We have moments like this, but would I ever randomly post them on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, etc ? Probably not, but who knows? I think he is adorable even with this face. This is real life.

 So what makes a “good mom?” I have no idea. I wish I did, but unfortunately the answer to this question probably differs on who you ask. That would make this motherhood thing a whole lot less stressful if someone could just give me a manual containing step-by-step instructions. I am still trying to figure it out, and something tells me I won’t know everything until my kids have kids… and by then, everything will have changed anyways. But I do know this; your kids don’t care if your Instagram feed is perfect, their birthday party compares to those on pinterest, or if their shirt came from a fancy organic boutique. The simple truth is that they desire love. They desire a mother who makes them feel like the most loved kid in the entire world. A mom who fights, gives, works, and loves even when her children are driving her insane. A mom who wakes up every morning with a renewed spirit and open heart. Real life is messy and it is hard at times. There might be times when it feels like you are failing compared to other moms out there, but you’re not. The pressure to be perfect is high, but the reality is you don’t need to be perfect; you need to stop comparing and start reflecting. Did I give my children the best mother they needed today? Did I meet all of their basic needs? Did I kiss them goodnight? Did I make sure they knew they were loved? I guarantee you, when they reflect back on their childhood, they are going to remember the moments you spent time loving on them and spending time with them. So put down that phone, get off Instagram and instead of looking at other moms with their kids, go and play with yours. Build memories and write those memories down, they will go by so fast. In their eyes, you are the best mother out there because you are their mother. Nobody else was given that job, God made you this child’s mother for a reason. So trust that he knows what he is doing, and have faith in yourself that you do too.

This was originally published at www.digiacomotribe.com
So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Tayler DiGiacomo

Tayler is a Christian saved by grace, a wife to her high school sweetheart, and mama to two in heaven and two on earth. She spends her days working from home, taking care of her two little ones, and blogging about marriage, motherhood, and her families adventures at: www.digiacomotribe.com 
She loves connecting with other Christian women who are just trying to be the best mother and wife they can be.

Brothers Fight Hard and Love Harder

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys play outside, one lifting the other on his back

The last few years have been a whirlwind. My head has sometimes been left spinning; we have moved continents with three boys, three and under at the time. Set up home and remained sufficiently organized despite the complete chaos to ensure everyone was where they were meant to be on most days. Living in a primarily hockey town, the winters are filled with coffee catch-ups at the arena, so it was no surprise when my youngest declared his intention to play hockey like his school friends. Fully aware that he had never held a hockey stick or slapped a puck,...

Keep Reading

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

When Your Kids Ask, “Where Is God?”

In: Faith, Kids
Child looking at sunset

How do I know if the voice I’m hearing is God’s voice? When I was in high school, I found myself asking this question. My dad was a pastor, and I was feeling called to ministry. I didn’t know if I was just hearing my dad’s wish or the call of God. I was worried I was confusing the two. It turns out, I did know. I knew because I was raised to recognize the presence of God all around me. Once I knew what God’s presence felt like, I also knew what God’s voice sounded like. There is a...

Keep Reading

Go Easy On the Parents Who Refuse to Skip Naps

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two little boys and their sister walking down a gravel road, color photo

Greetings from a mom who is done with napping children. It’s great to have the flexibility during the day for longer activities, meeting friends for playdates, or day trips to faraway places. It’s a new life . . . the life without naps. The freedom to make plans and keep them. But not that long ago, I was something very different than the flexible, plan-keeping, up-for-it woman I am today. I used to be the mom who refused to skip my child’s nap. Yep, that one. Here’s the thing, for a lot of parents, It’s so much more than just a...

Keep Reading

My Heart Isn’t Ready for You to Stop Believing in Santa

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy standing in front of lit christmas tree

“My friend doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, Mom,” my son said out of the blue the other day. We were driving in the car, and when I met his gaze in the rear-view mirror his eyes searched mine. Immediately, my heart sank.  This sweet boy, he’s our first. Thoughtful and smart and eight years old. A quick Google search tells me that’s the average age kids stop believing in Santa, but as his mom, I’m not ready for that—not even a little bit.  I can still hear his barely 2-year-old voice going on about reindeer as we lay together on...

Keep Reading

Motherhood is a Million Little Letting Gos and Fresh Hellos

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother sitting with child on her lap by the setting sun and water

I missed my grocery-shopping buddy the other day. Mondays are usually the days my littlest and I knock out our grocery list. In the past, we’ve dropped the kids at school and then headed to the store. I grab a latte, and she chooses a hot chocolate. But that day, they were all in school. That day, she sat in her kindergarten class, and I went to the grocery store. Alone. A new rhythm. A changed routine. A different season. I listened to a podcast on the drive. My podcast. Then I grabbed a drink. Just one. I got the...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is My Wish for You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother hugs three kids

To my kids, The world you’re stepping into is unlike anything I experienced at your age. It’s fast-paced, interconnected, and sometimes overwhelming. But within this chaos lie countless opportunities for growth and joy. My wish for you is that you find the perfect balance between embracing the modern world and staying true to yourselves. Change is one thing you can always count on. Embrace it because it’s often the motivation for growth. Embracing change doesn’t mean letting go of who you are; rather, it’s about evolving into the best version of yourself. Remember, you don’t need to have all the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Stay Wild

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter on beach, color photo

I can’t really put my finger on it. Or manage to find all the words. But there’s just something about that girl. Maybe it’s the way her hair sits tangled. Curled up at the end. The way she moves. Dances. As if everyone was watching. Or no one at all. RELATED: There is Wild Beauty in This Spirited Child of Mine It could be the way she smiles. With her heart. The way only she can. The way she cares, loves. For everyone. For herself. You see, she is beautiful in the way only wild things are. The way they...

Keep Reading

You’re Becoming a Big Sister, But You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Pregnant woman with young daughter, color photo

The anticipation of welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting and joyous time for our family. From the moment we found out we were expecting to just about every day since, the love and excitement only continue to grow. However, amidst all the preparations for the new addition, I cannot help but have mixed emotions as I look back at old videos and pictures of my firstborn, my first princess, my Phoebe—for she will always hold a special place in my heart. As the anticipation grows, my heart swells with a mix of emotions knowing we are...

Keep Reading

Cowgirls Don’t Cry Unless the Horse They Loved Is Gone

In: Grief, Kids, Loss
Little girls Toy Story Jessie costume, color photo

The knee of my pants is wet and dirty. My yellow ring lays by the sink—it’s been my favorite ring for months. I bought it to match Bigfoot’s halter and the sunflowers by his pasture. Bigfoot is my daughter’s pony, and I loved him the most. The afternoon is so sunny. His hooves make the same calming rhythm I’ve come to love as I walk him out back. A strong wind blows through the barn. A stall labeled “Bigfoot,” adorned with a sunflower, hangs open and I feel sick. I kneel down by his side as he munches the grass....

Keep Reading