Dear Hope Wounds,
You are kind of ugly. It feels like you sag to my knees. You’ve taken away my belly button. You roll over every kind of jeans, pants, shorts, or skirt I wear. You are gross. You are the cottage cheese that seems to cover my entire belly. You are extra fat that will probably never go away. You’re my 3.5 inch scar on my bikini line. You are the agony of my infertility, the pain of an empty womb. You are a reminder of how sick I was after my delivery, all that blood I lost, and the heart ache of not meeting my babies for 24 hours after they were born. You are the change my body never saw coming, but desired so deeply.
Hope wounds, You are a miracle. You are perfect. You are beauty. You are my love wounds to show how much I went through to bring my darling hope triplets into this world. You are beautifully saggy and beautifully ugly. You are my dream come true. You are the hope of my infertility. You are the joy of a fruitful womb. I prayed for you, hope wounds. I longed for you and begged for you. I was so desperate to have my miracle, it didn’t matter how gross my hope wounds would ever be. Nor, what I would have to endure to get you. You are something I would never change. You remind me why my story makes a difference.
Sometimes I am too hard on you, hope wounds.
You went through a lot to bring Charlize, Sawyer, and Jax into this world. You were strong and allowed my 105 pound body to stretch and stretch and stretch. You measured 52 weeks pregnant the day the babies came. You were HUGE and kick ass strong. You allowed me to carry three healthy babies to 34 weeks 1 day. You gave me the ability to grow 3 babies that weighed about 5 pounds each. You showed everyone that God was apart of every step of my hope story.
To every little wrinkle, every scar, every sagging piece of muffin top rolling over my pants, YOU ARE my miracle. You show the gift of carrying a baby in the womb and all the intricate details God designed for each part of pregnancy and delivery. You remind me that God perfectly created and designed the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth. When I look at you, I see all that the Lord has done for me through my infertility, pregnancy, and delivery. Hope wounds, you were destined for my story and my body.
I will forever look at you, hope wounds, and remember that I am strong. I am beautiful. My body is radiant and sparkles with hope and beauty. I will try and be more kind to you, hope wounds, because you represent by far the greatest miracles of my life and I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world. You brought me my hope babies, my little miracles from Heaven.
This article originally appeared on Our Journey To Parenthood Blog
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